The Clock Ticks
by Maria Amore
Summary: One must be accountable for their actions.. even on their wedding day. How will Christian Grey fix this one? My new story.
1. The Clock Ticks

**The Clock Ticks**

* * *

 **Christian's POV:**

"Sir, five minutes." I nod but fail to look at Taylor. I continue to adjust my tie and straighten out my suit. That will do nicely. I glance over at Elliot to ensure that he has met the brief to my exact standards. Nothing is going to ruin today. I even have a duplicate wedding ring, in my pocket, in case my brother misplaces the one I already gave him. I figure I can have the gold and diamonds remodelled to make a necklace for Ana for our first wedding anniversary, to match her wedding ring. Hearts and flowers, just as my girl deserves.

"Not bad little bro. Still not as handsome as me but you will do." Arrogant bastard! Elliot smirks at his joke, but I don't respond. "I still can't believe that you are getting married today... No, that isn't true... I am still trying to come to terms with the notion that you would ever get married. I don't know how Ana did it, but wow, she must have some special potion…actually, let me retract that comment also. You must have wielded some magic to land a girl like Ana. She is pretty much the whole package... Don't tell Kate I said that!"

"Anastasia isn't pretty much, she is the whole package!..." I correct my brother's statement. Anastasia Rose Steele is beautiful, hot, intelligent, kind, considerate, talented and well read. She drives me wild in bed, on my Saint Andrew Cross, on the silk covered four poster bed, on the sex swing, on my desk, on my piano... on any surface. If I had my way, I would delay flying away for our honeymoon until the end of the year. It will mean touring cities and places she has never seen. I want to experience this with her, but I would prefer to spend the next two weeks fucking my new bride nonstop, except when eating. I haven't claimed her ass yet, but it's on top of the list. "...and soon she will legally mine!"

I exit the guest bedroom, to find our parents approaching my brother and I. Fuck! My hopes of a quick my detour to see Ana before the wedding, are dashed. I already know what is going to occur before it even starts. My mother is going to start crying and get nostalgic. My father is going to want to congratulate me again and warn Elliot to be on his best behaviour, especially in front of Father Walsh. Damn there so little time before the show starts, there is no way I will be able to see Ana now. Then again they can't commence the wedding without us... hmm... I wonder if her wedding dress caters for a nice quick, slam and dunk.

Elliot and I spent the night in one of the guest rooms. I had expected that we would be in our childhood bedrooms, but they were deemed too close to the rooms allocated to Ana and Kate, and the bride's family. Ana's family and I all spent the night here at Bellevue after the rehearsal dinner at one of my exclusive clubs.

"I wanted to pin your boutonniere on you." My mother smiles warmly at me as she attaches it to the lapel of my tuxedo jacket. Mine consists of white Annabelle roses with greenery, while Elliot's best man boutonniere is an arrangement of muted pink and green flowers, including Annabelle roses. Ana chose these to reflect our partner's dresses today. "There you go... perfect. You both look so handsome and smart...I can't believe my son is getting married! It's so wonderful" I doubt I have ever seen her cry so much before. I have made my mother cry before, more than I would like to acknowledge. At least, these are tears of joy.

"Thank you mother, but please don't cry," I request though I know she won't be able to fulfil my request.

"I am not crying." The three of us look at Grace, and she gives us her motherly ' _don't argue with me'_ look. "Alright, yes I am crying, but it's because I am so blissful." I shake my head slightly but smile sympathetically at her. Mom moves towards Elliot and starts to pin his flowers on his suit. "Elliot, I hope this isn't the last time I get to pin one of these on you." My brother and I both look at each other. Unbeknownst to our parents, he is planning on proposing to Kate tomorrow.

"We will see mom. You have been emotional the whole time Christian and Ana have been engaged. If this is what you are like with him getting married, then what are you going to be like when Mia finally does, let alone should I?" Elliot questions.

"That's an easy question to answer. Grace, I don't know about you, but I intend on hiring a wedding planner for our daughter, leaving the country the day she announces her engagement and return on the day of the wedding. Mia is likely to send us all to the loony bin." Our father's statement may seem humorous but it is accurate. I would rather give her a check for several million dollars to pay for the whole thing on the proviso I am not sucked into listening to her go on and on and on over every little detail. Mia wouldn't have shut up over this wedding if we had let her. Ana and I announced early in our engagement that we were going to plan the wedding ourselves according to our wishes. No interference or advice from anyone! We did hire a top notch wedding planner, Miss Bronwyn Bergner, who listened to what we wanted. We made the decisions and she made it happen.

We all notice Taylor as he points to his watch, our code for its time. Yes, the clock is ticking!

"Well, let's get you attached to your ball and chain." Elliot mocks. We meet Mia, who is standing in the doorway in a beautiful long formal pale purple gown, talking to Miss Bergner. Together as a family, we walk down the aisle. My mother and father walk on opposite sides, beside me. Behind us, my sister and brother. I shake my dad's hand, then kiss my mom and sister before taking my place next to my brother at the top of the aisle.

Elliot stands next to me and winks, his way of letting me know that this is the best thing I have ever done. I offer Ana's mother, Carla, and stepfather number three, Bob a polite nod. They offer a similar greeting. I can't express how glad that they live clear across the country. I keep getting a negative feeling from Carla although Bob appears decent enough.

Miss Bergner, signals as scheduled as a reminder it's almost time. I look at my watch and note that it is three minutes to four. I handed over final say on all particulars of our wedding to Ana but refused to budge on the times. The ceremony commences promptly at four, lasting half an hour, with the reception at five so we can leave at nine. It is well known that I am not a patient man; even less so today. I am desperate to put the specially designed wedding ring on Ana's finger. Promptness is paramount, as it means we can leave and be alone.

Four o'clock comes. I narrow my eyes and double-check my watch. The bridal entrance musical should have started by now _, Bach Air on G string_. The music chosen by Ana and I. Kate should be walking down the aisle, then Ana with her father. I attempt to stay calm by reminding myself that all brides are always a little late by tradition. I guess in the end I can't deny Ana this, though I grow tense when ten minutes passes, then fifteen. _Where is she_? I scan the room for Taylor. As per protocol at large events, he is wired up and I note that he is talking into his concealed microphone in his sleeve. Fuck! There must be a security issue. _Ana!_ My lips form a hard line when Taylor discreetly walking around the seated guests and to the side where I join him. Both of us turn away from the crowd of invited guests so no one can hear what we are saying.

"Sir, there appears to be a problem." My eyes narrow when Taylor doesn't come straight out and say whatever is going on. All I care about right now is where is my bride?

"Where is Anastasia?" I grunt, quietly.

"Her exact whereabouts are unknown."

"What? How can that be?" I roar loud enough that I catch the attention of every single guest assembled. Fuck them right now. All that matters is locating Ana and having her back with me.

"We need to go inside the house. Bring Elliot; have him talk to Miss Kavanagh." I signal to Elliot to follow us though I don't enlighten him on the situation. He walks swiftly next to Taylor and me towards the house, trying to put the pieces together.

"Explain how this major fuck up happened!"

"From what we understand, Miss Steele was getting dressed with Miss Kavanagh, then Mr. Steele went in. The three of them were talking pleasantly. Mr. Steele left the room to wait for Ana to finish getting ready. Miss Kavanagh then went outside to collect the wedding flowers and when she went back in Miss Steele was missing. Miss Kavanagh is anxious."

"Ana is missing?" Elliot asks, catching up with the story.

"Was she abducted?" Fuck. The world knows how wealthy I am and I would pay my entire wealth to get her back. I have to find her. Now! "Where was Ryan when all this shit occurred? His ass is fired!"

"He was standing at the entrance of the hallway. Ensuring no one bothered Miss Steele. None of the security team has seen her. I called her cell phone but it's off. We are putting a trace on it, but until her phone is switched on its useless. That is if she even has it on her. We haven't been able to locate it so far."

"Then let's hope the security measures you and Welch have put in place means that Ana is still here and unharmed, for both your sakes. Lock the gates and man the perimeter. No one gets in or out until Ana is found or we know without a doubt that she is not here. Heads are going to roll Taylor!" I growl.

"Grey stop!" Taylor calls out. I am in no mood for this. I want Ana back now. "What if she hasn't been kidnapped? We need to consider the possibility that she has left on her own accord?" Taylor's words don't only leave a sour taste in my mouth but also, leaves me cold. Hollow. A sentiment I haven't felt since Ana literally fell into my life.

"No. I would have known if something was wrong, or if Ana was having second thoughts." Taylor wisely doesn't suggest this idea again. Otherwise, he would have needed security for his own safety. I would have pounded him to a pulp.

I storm into the house to where Ana was getting ready, finding a rather distressed Katherine and Ray.

"When did you last see Ana?" I blurt out, questioning Kate. I disregard her worried state. I want answers. Now.

"We were in the room. Laughing. Ana was in good spirits, a little nervous but excited to be married. I came out to get the flowers. Ray was close by. We chatted about how beautiful the bouquets were. I was gone for only a few minutes. When I returned to the room, Ana was gone!" Elliot is comforting Kate, who is physically shaking. It is clear that she doesn't know anything else. Fuck! If something were wrong, then Ana would have told Kate. Someone has taken my bride. Their days are numbered.

"Did she say anything out of the ordinary... anything to suggest she wasn't ready for marriage?"

Elliot queries.

"No! Nothing. Never... not even in the weeks before the wedding."

"Where is my little girl?" Panic hits Ray's voice. I run both hands through my hair, emotions I am unable to control build up. I can't think straight. _Pull your shit together Grey. It's the only way to get Ana back._

We are soon joined by Sawyer, Ryan, and Welch and Barney, who are invited guests. My parents, Carla and Bob also find us, everyone is at a loss with what is going on. Elliot quickly fills them in before he and Kate take both families into the sitting room to fix them all a drink and calm them down. Ray wanted to stay with me and the security team since it's his daughter, but Carla reacted badly to the news. He had to help Bob with her.

"I want the whole house and property searched, every inch! Double check the guest list. Determine if anyone is missing. The reception staff, I want all of them accounted for. Establish if one of them would have had anything to do with Ana's disappearance. Barney, I want you to go through the staff and guest particulars, see if anything comes up. Welch keep trying to trace Ana's phone and see if her bank account has been touched. Check her email account just in case... anything. I want no stone left unturned. If Ana's cell phone is found, I want it bagged and brought to me. There might be valuable evidence." I throw orders left right and center until I am satisfied that we are covering all possible bases. Everyone scatters leaving me alone. I want to scream, hit something... anything. I knew I should have insisted that CCTV was installed at my parents' house. I enter the room Ana was getting dressed in with Kate. There are bathrobes, makeup and toiletries lying about. One of Ana's tops and skirts are on the bed and her slippers are on the floor. The clothes she was probably wearing earlier. I remember her packing it. I pick them up. I can smell her scent on them. Hanging up in the wardrobe is Ana's rehearsal dinner dress and heels. There is nothing in this room that appears to be out of the ordinary... no signs of forced breaking in...nothing. .. Shit it must have been an inside job.

' _Oh Anastasia where are you and who has you? Do not worry baby. I promise I will find you... bring you back... I will make whoever has done this to you, to us... pay!'_

It is only when I walk out of the room that I notice something on the bedside table. To the ordinary person, it would just look like a photo, but it's more than that. The photo is of my crack whore mother. Why is it here? No one ever touches it! So few people even know who she is. I run upstairs to my old bedroom. Regardless of the amount of family that stayed here last night, my old bedroom was vacant. But someone must have come up here. This photo was on the pinup board. I haven't been to my old room recently, so I have no idea when the photo was moved. I storm in, standing in the middle of the room and turn around, scanning the room. The pinup board.. Where the photo was, it's been replaced. Fuck!

I get on my cell phone and call Taylor. "Ana hasn't been abducted. She has left... she walked away... find her... I need to talk to her." In my hand is a photo of me. I am in one of my Grey suits, and a white linen shirt... no tie. Nothing unusual about that... but it's what is around me that has my attention. _**NO!**_ I want to rip the photo up, angry that this has come back to haunt me...but I had to. _Yes, it was wrong... but what other choice did I have? Did_ _I?_ It wasn't meant to happen like this. When I grip it in with my fingertips to rip it up, I notice that there is writing on the back. Ana's writing _._

' _For my pleasure, not yours'_ Remember _?'_

I repeat the words in my head. Remember? I do remember. The only time I uttered those words to Ana was the first time I bought her here to Bellevue when Mia had come home from Paris. Fuck! That's it. She is in the boat house. I storm out of the house, avoiding everyone. I don't tell anyone anything. All that matters is getting to Ana. I need to talk to her, explain everything to her. I open the door of the boat house and without intending, it slams shut. I walk up the stairs, and there sitting on the couch is Ana.

For a few seconds, I forget why I am here. Anastasia is in her wedding dress. Her shoulders and perfect skin is framed beautifully by her lace off the shoulder dress. It fits around her chest and waist, flaring out softly around the skirt. Perfection! Her hair is up, perfectly sculptured but still so soft. Her makeup is natural looking and flawlessness. Ana is so beautiful that she doesn't need so much makeup. Her legs are crossed, exposing her too high Louboutin wedding shoes. Fuck, her legs look a mile long. They should have been wrapped around my waist this evening. Fuck. I snap out of my daydream... there is a situation we need to deal with.

"Mr Grey, you made it. Not bad... it's only twenty-five minutes past four. I did think maybe you would have found me earlier, though."

"I thought you were fashionably bride like – late."

"Nope," Ana says smacking her lips. "Is everyone still waiting for me? I wonder how long they will. Or has an announcement been made?"

"No announcement. We thought that someone had kidnapped you."

"With all the security you have around the house and property? No chance!"

"I don't know. If there is a will, there is a way. You got out of the house without anyone noticing." Ana raises her eyebrows at me and shakes her head, but a sly smile remains. I narrow my eyes at her. Fuck. I am the one who taught her how. I had once demonstrated how I use to sneak out of my room and into the boathouse as a teenager to drink. It was a simple route but allowed you to avoid detection.

"You found my message and the little photo then?"

"Yes... Anastasia. Now if you have finished with your little hunt. We need to get moving. We are getting married today. You promised to marry me. I love you. Please, let's go and get married." I hold my hand, expecting her to take it. I don't know what I was thinking.

"Don't you mean 'Anastasia, we _were_ getting married today. You promised to marry me, _but_ I fucked up big time. I love you. I will go and tell everyone that the wedding is _off_."

"No," I reply simply but sternly.

"Have Taylor or your parents or Elliot or the wedding planner... whoever you prefer to inform everyone that the marriage is off. Ask them to them to clear the grounds. I want my parents to be told that I am fine, but need some space. I will contact them soon."

"Fine. Then you will come inside with me and we will talk this whole thing through. I still intend to marry you. If not today, then another day. Soon. You are mine." I don't listen to Ana's reply. Instead, I contact Taylor informing him that I had found her, and instruct him on how to proceed according to Ana's wishes.

"Done. Everyone will be sent home. Your father wants to talk to you personally. He is on the line." I hold out my cell phone. Ana takes it but is careful not to touch my hand. Damn! I am desperate to feel her even if it is just her hand. She turns away from me. Speaking so softly that it's almost impossible to hear what is being said. Almost that is. Anastasia, right now every one of my senses is focused on you. I make out that she isn't going through with the wedding that she is fine and needs time to think. She apologizes for all the fuss and promises she will talk to him soon, face to face. Ana's phone call is quick, by design. She places the phone down on the small table next to the couch, completely shattering my hopes to touch her again.

"You didn't tell your father."

"If I did then you would either have broken bones or a broken neck or need to be carried out of here in a body bag."

"We need to talk."

"Apparently yes." I cock my head to the side. Ana is calm, controlled but angry. "But not now...later. I just needed you to find me."

I swallow hard. Ana is punishing me... Letting me get a visual of what I missed out on marrying and how she would have looked. For the rest of my life, I will be able to envision, Ana walking down the aisle to meet me, the feelings of love and pure joy that I would have felt. Her shy smile... her ' _I love you_ ' smile... wiping the tears of joy that I know would have run down her face as I slip her wedding ring on her... holding her hand and then kissing her lips for the first time as husband and wife. Our first dance. Cutting our wedding cake. Then of the privilege of removing her fabulous dress to see her, even more, incredible body. Ana always wears the sexiest underwear for me... she would have, without a doubt, have something special on underneath. It's extremely fitting that Ana would dish out my punishment in this setting. I gave her a punishment fuck in this boat house and here she has delivered mine. Though Ana's is a form of torture... I get to replay what could have been over and over. It is worse than my nightmares. I can wake up from those. But this...this will haunt me around the clock. No matter how much it ticks.

"Go downstairs, contact Taylor and have my car brought to the front of the house. I want to get changed out of this dress. Then as much as I am going to hate it, I will walk back to the house with you before leaving. I want to see your parents and make sure Kate is okay." I cock my head to the side. _Ana wishes to see my parents but didn't want to see her own?_ "Don't worry I am not going to tell them. I respect them too much to be a cause of any more pain. I want to apologise."

"Ana, please. Walk with me to the house, but stay. We can go out stairs and talk about this. Alone. Let me explain. I have never begged anyone for anything, but I will. Please, Ana."

"That is one _first_ I am unable to offer you. Christian I am hurt, angry and uncertain about so much! I will contact Roach in a week or two, once I have decided on whether to remain at SIP or not." I feel like I am burning. Ana can't leave SIP. I bought it to keep her safe. It was to be hers _. If she leaves how will I keep her safe? How will I keep her connected to me to win her back?_

"You shouldn't resign from your job. Publishing is what you want to do."

"Lots of other publishing houses…." Ana shrugs.

"Except there are not so many jobs in this economy. Anastasia, you need to start thinking straight."

"Why should I? You didn't. That picture is evidence of it."

"Ana, it isn't what you think it is." I need to explain.. but how?

"Really?"

"Yes," I emphasize.

"Then tell me, Christian. Tell me that you didn't cheat?"

"Not in the manner you think."

"It doesn't matter. It's an issue of semantics. Did you touch her? Kiss her? Fuck her or was it vanilla? " I look to the side for a moment and breathe out.

"Anastasia, let me explain.."

"No. Answer my questions."

"Anastasia.," I state her name with so much authority in the hope that it will placate her and cause her to recoil long enough for me to talk some sense into her. "We should go Escala. Let's go home and talk."

"Stop with the Anastasia... Anastasia..Anastasia! Since you won't directly answer my questions, I am in no mood to entertain your carefully orchestrated excuses. When it comes down to the fact, you cheated on me. It is as simple as that."

"No, you are mistaken. It is the polar opposite to simple. Ana, I just want to talk to you. Please promise me that you will give me that." My heart is on a platter and it's hers to do whatever she wants. I am literally at Ana's mercy.

"Later.."

"Later?" I cock my head to the side after I have run both my hands through my hair. "And when do you envision that will be?"

"When I am able to be in the same room with you again, without feeling like this." Ana's steady, calm and angry exterior melts away. She is in so much pain. I want to take it all away, hold her and make her feel happy again. Remind Ana how much I love her. I try to speak, but I don't know the words to say. "Christian please, go downstairs, get my car for me. I know it's here. I drove it here yesterday with my Mom, Bob and Dad before going to the rehearsal dinner last night. I need to get out of this dress."

I hesitate, at first, running my hands through my hair. Again. "I will be downstairs," I groan. I comply with Anastasia's requests though I instruct Taylor not to reassign Sawyer. He is to remain Ana's CPO. In fact, I don't want her to drive. She is too unpredictable. Too emotional.

I hear footsteps behind me. It's Ana. She is dressed in a green knitted top and jeans. She looks beautiful. Her hair is down, framing her face, shoulders and chest. Simple and natural. I open the door of the boat house for Ana and together we walk towards the house. My parents, Elliot, Kate and Mia are standing at the doorway. I stand several steps away as Ana approaches them, to give her breathing space, but still be able to hear what words are exchanged.

"Steele, what's going on?" Kate inquires softly as they share a hug.

"It is difficult to explain. I will soon." Ana replies then faces my family. The four of them look furious, upset, sad, confused.. every emotion that isn't positive is painted on their faces. "I am sorry… thank you for everything."

"Ana, why didn't you marry my son?" Ana shakes her head at my mother's question, not willing to answer. "Please just give me some sort of explanation so I can rationalize what happened today." My mom is pleading. I have never seen her like that. Ever.

"I am not enough." With those four words, Ana turns and walks away from them.

"My keys?"

"Sawyer can drive you. You don't need to drive. You have had a long day and I don't want you at risk."

"My keys?" Ana repeats.

"No"

"For the last time, give me my keys or I will walk out of here and be at more risk." Ana holds her hand out and with no other alternative, I place them in her hand. For a second, I consider kissing her. Praying that it will make her realise how much I love her, but I couldn't handle the added rejection.

"Goodbye, Christian. I will be in touch," Ana is about to walk away when I grab her arm stopping her. The look on her face speaks volumes. Taylor, my father and Elliot approach us. I let go immediately.

"When?" I know she has answered this question already but I asked her again in the hope that she would offer a more concrete answer.

"I don't know. A week, a month...a year, maybe. "

"I love you Anastasia.. don't leave me. You promised you wouldn't!"

"And you promised me that you would be devoted to me!"

"I am," I stress.

"Goodbye," Ana utters taking my hand. I close my eyes, savoring this touch. _Thank you!_ I don't take my eyes off her, but she never even glances back at me as she walks towards her car. I am stunned into silence as Ana drives away. I feel something in my hand. I open it and find Ana's engagement ring. Another part of my heart dies.

She left me. Anastasia has left me. Again. I look at the offending picture. I fucked up. I need to make this right.

# # # #

The day after our failed wedding, Sawyer was sent back to Escala with a box. Inside it contained Ana's MacBook, iPad, Blackberry, her second chance earrings and the other pieces of jewelry I had given her during our short time together. These pieces were to be the first of many. Ana didn't stop there, returning her Saab and the keys. I surmised she was trying to rid me of her.

My family decided to give me space and didn't question me. They knew that unless I spoke first, they wouldn't get much out of me. Elliot came over the day after. He asked me one simple question.

" _What did you do?"_

" _I fucked up.. big time. But I had to. There was no other choice."_

I expected Elliot to hit me and I would have welcomed it even. Instead, he grabbed a bottle of bourbon and two glasses. We sat down, talked and drank. I explained everything to him. Elliot already knew about Elena and me after it came out during my birthday. Though he didn't know the nitty gritty. I told him everything. The nature of my relationship with Elena, BDSM, the fifteen, having a relationship with Ana and then the final cause of our failed wedding. Fuck, we were so drunk neither of us could walk straight. We couldn't even get up off the couch. The last thing Elliot had said to me before we ended up passing out was that I was an asshole; however, I needed to fight for Ana.

It has been eight weeks and regardless of my attempts to contact Ana, she still wasn't willing to talk. I spoke to Flynn, worked out with Bastille every day trying to clear my head, but it's not working. I sent flowers, letters, organised for restaurants we had visited to deliver meals to Ana. Anything to remind her of the wonderful times we had together.

Fuck I even called Kate. She only told me that Ana was well all things considered. My should-have-been bride wouldn't tell her exactly what happened, but did say I ought to go fuck myself. I couldn't argue with her. I was humbled in a way that Ana had stuck to the NDA. She had shown me so much respect even though she was hurt.

Ana made contact with Roach and attempted to resign from her position at SIP. Under my orders, he convinced her to take some time to think her decision over and gave her leave with full pay. Keeping Ana at SIP is imperative. It makes keeping her safe a hell of a lot easier. I had to make sure Ana was still getting paid also. There is no way she would accept any money from me, but she needs to live.

I have survived the past two months by throwing myself into my work. I have worked non-stop. I don't want to sleep. Only doing so when it's impossible to fight my exhaustion. My nightmares are worse than ever. They always begin the same way. They are pleasant, happy. Offering hope of what could have been. Occasionally, I even dream of Ana and I having children. They are some of the most joyful thoughts. You would think they would scare me, but instead, they fill me with joy. Playing with our children. Me holding and loving Ana while watching them run around our spacious home that we would have been building by now. Then my dreams turn dark as it all vanishes. Darkness unlike I have ever experienced before.

Today is different. I finally have the opportunity to start moving forward. Ana has agreed to talk to me. Her emails were simple but it was all I needed.

* * *

To: Christian Grey

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Honest Answers

Christian,

I am ready to talk. I want to know what and why. Most of all I want honesty.

Please advise me when you are available.

Anastasia Steele

* * *

From: Christian Grey

To: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Honesty guaranteed.

Dear Anastasia,

I will make myself available any time, any place you wish. How does dinner sound? We can eat anywhere you like. Name it Ana. I will make any reservation.

I miss you. I love you.

Christian Grey

CEO of Grey Enterprise Holding

* * *

To: Christian Grey

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Setting

Communication not dinner. Escala is suitable. Tomorrow at five.

Anastasia

* * *

From: Christian Grey

To: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Our place it is

Dear Anastasia,

I will have Sawyer meet you outside Kate's apartment at twenty to five. Since your car is here at our home.

Yes, we will talk. But, I would like to eat with you too.

I miss you. Do you still love me?.

Christian Grey

CEO of Grey Enterprise Holding

* * *

To: Christian Grey

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Agreed

I will see you then. Escala is _yours,_ not _ours_.

Anastasia

* * *

From: Christian Grey

To: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Omissions

Anastasia,

No Escala is still ours. You didn't answer my question.

Christian Grey

CEO of Grey Enterprise Holding

* * *

To: Christian Grey

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Deliberate actions

I know.

Anastasia

* * *

I took what refuge I could in the fact that Ana refused to answer my question of whether she still loved me. This had to mean that there was still the possibility that she still did and, therefore, I could mend our broken relationship.

At a quarter to five, I exit my study. My attempts to throw myself into my work failed. I am on edge and a desperate man. I want Ana back. I want to walk into my bathroom and see her use my toothbrush. To watch her read. To watch her skillfully and playfully maneuver around the kitchen. To watch her sleep next to me. I miss everything about her. Sawyer sent a message a few minutes ago informing me that he had Ana and was on his way to Escala. At least, she was willing to allow him to drive her.

Ms Jones has kindly cooked dinner even though it is her day off. In her email, Ana wasn't eager to eat with me but I am hoping she will change her mind. Last time she left me she lost weight... if the same has happened. I shudder to think. Also, it will lighten the mood tonight. Something that is definitely desired.

I start pacing, only stopping when I hear the elevator ping and then open. I turn and walk steadily towards it. Ana. I swallow as I look at her. As predicted, she looks slimmer than before, but I don't have the leverage to scold her. I need to get her to eat. Regardless Ana looks beautiful. She is stunning no matter what the situation. Ana is dressed casually in a pair of jeans and simple white shirt. A very classic look and one that is again, by design. A deliberate act. She wants me to know that she didn't put much effort into the way she is dressed. I couldn't care less. Ana is here. Finally

"Ana." Her name is like a litany. I move towards her when she stops walking. As I get closer and closer, I find that all I want to do is to hold her. Wrap my arms around her and press my lips against her, before burying my nose in her hair. No one in the world knows me as well as Ana, and at times she has been able to read my mind.. just like now. When I am only a couple of footsteps away, Ana yells out 'Stop'. It's another stab at my heart. One that I find is dying quickly.

"I came to talk. I need answers." I pray that Ana's words don't dictate the tone of the evening. She didn't take her eyes off mine, as she walked around me and into the main room. Standing to the side, Ana, turns and looks around.

"I don't know why but I almost thought that this place would look different... strange. It feels different... I use to think of it as home."

"It still is your home, Ana. The same for our new home that we will build. Elliot is just waiting for the go-ahead from us both. We can be so happy."

"This isn't my home anymore. Nor will that house on the sound, should you ever chose to build it." Ana's voice is soft and cheerless though this is short lived. Her tone becomes assertive.

"Okay, Christian, I am here to talk. I told you on the day of our doomed wedding that I would give you that when I was ready. I am ready. Talk!"

"Can I offer you a drink? Ms Jones has prepared dinner. Are you hungry?"

"No and no. I came to talk. If you are not willing to do so, then I will leave." Never have I heard Ana be so dictatorial and direct. I nod and gesture for her to take a seat on the couch. The only offer she has accepted in the short time she has been here.

"Okay, Ana. I am at your mercy. Ask me anything you want. I will answer it."

"I want to know what happened and why you did it."

"Okay. I owe you that much."

* * *

 _Thirteen weeks ago_

I burst into the apartment, with Taylor behind me. My heart was beating a thousand miles an hour when Ethan turned up at the apartment building. _Ana!_ I knew something was wrong. When we entered, it was my worst nightmare. There was Leila with a gun on Ana. Thank God she wasn't hurt. I stared at Leila, locking my eyes with her. She was dirty and there was an unusual vibe radiating from her. Fuck, I need to get Ana away. I moved towards Leila.

"Ana, I need you to leave" I ordered.

"But.."

"Leave. Now," I demanded harshly. I needed Ana away from harm, but she wouldn't budge.

"Christian, I am not leaving. Forget it." _Why won't she just listen to me?_

"Taylor, throw Ana over your shoulder if you have to, but get her out of here. Take her back to Escala."

"I can't leave you."

"You will leave. Taylor I given you my orders."

"Fine. I'll go." I hear Ana murmur as Taylor leads her outside. Once the door closed, I quickly check behind me and to make sure we're alone.

"Okay, Leila, it's just you and me." My dominant persona takes over. I had expected Leila to immediately obey, fall to the floor, and get into position. Exactly like she used to, but she doesn't. In fact, her body language and expression are completely out of character. She was always playful, but now she isn't right. Fuck, Leila is worse than I thought. I step back and lock the door. Ana has little regard for her own safety, and I don't want to risk her re-entering the apartment. I refuse to allow Ana to be put in harm's way again.

"I could have shot her... I still could."

"Leila. Put. The. Gun. Down." I continue to stare at her, never blinking, exactly like it used to be with us in the playroom.

"No... next time I see her. I will kill her."

"Leila. You are breaking the obedience rule. You will be punished."

"You and your goon's can't protect her from everything. You would have to keep her locked up. I doubt that she would like that. I could be out of sight and bang.. shot.. dead. No more" Leila laughs and plays with the gun. I quickly assess that I need to take matters further. I remove my jacket, white shirt and take off my shoes and socks. I don't have my _Dom_ jeans, but I resemble how I looked to her in the playroom. It starts to make an impact; making Leila a little more docile. I walk into Ana's bedroom. She still has a lot of her belongings in here. I go into her underwear drawer and find a pair of white panties and a hair tie.

Back in the main room, Leila is playfully aiming her gun at a picture of Ana and Kate at their college graduation. The look in her eye. I know right now if she were given another chance, Leila would hurt Ana. I can't allow that to happen.

"You like Ana's eyes don't you?" I don't respond. As a 'Dom', I would never answer my submissive questions, especially not during a scene. "I know you do. I have seen the way you look at her." This has to end now. Forever. It is the only way I know I will be able to keep Ana safe.

I approach Leila steadily. I do not hesitate for a second. I don't even acknowledge that she still has the gun in her left hand. Leila moves her right hand, but I grip it tightly at her wrist. "Don't move," I order. I grip her dirty, oily hair. Fuck I am going to have to get her to take a bath before I get her out of here. I braid her hair and tie it. Leila's demeanour changes a little more.

"Take off your clothes. Put these on." I move away from her but still maintain my cold stare. I distance myself.. this is a scene.. one with an objective. Not gratification, but to bring order to Leila and, more importantly, protect the one I love. Ana.

Leila complies. Removing her clothes. Putting on the white panties. Though she quickly returns to the kitchen counter and takes hold of the gun.

"On your knees. Trust me, Leila, you will not want me to ask you twice." I make her wait. Standing several minutes later and enter the kitchen. I take the gun and place it on the top shelf. It's not very high up at all, but it will have to do. I grab a tea cloth and search the kitchen. The first thing I find it a wooden spoon. Crude but effective.

I wrap the cloth around Leila's eyes, blindfolding her. I need to make her submit completely. I place my hand on her back and lead her to the wall. "Put your hands out. Flat. In front of you. Don't let go."

I run the end of the spoon across her body, stopping several times, to hit her. Each time she looks down. More and more submissive. Perfect. This is the only way to make sure she will listen. It's the only way I can get through to her.

"Leila. I am going to give you a bath. Then you are going to get medical help. I am going to help you. Do you understand?" Leila nods. I am not satisfied. "Say that you understand."

"I understand, Sir."

I remove the blindfold and instruct her to follow me. I fill the bath and signal for her to get in. I take the shampoo and wash her hair. When I am satisfied that Leila is clean, I walk out of the bathroom. I need to get her some clothes. As I rummaged through Ana's old clothes, I contact Flynn and update him. Taylor has already informed him of the situation, and Flynn has put our plan into action.

When I enter the bathroom, Leila is still in the bath. Perfectly submissive. She is awaiting instruction to get out. This is preferable to her previous state. This way she will be open to therapy and to getting better. Ana will be safe.

"Get out of the bath and get dressed." I place the clothes down and walk out. I'm relieved that this is finally coming to end. Leila comes out of the bathroom looking far more like her usual self.

"Dr Flynn is on his way. We are going to get you all the help you need. Then name it. Art school, college.. whatever you need. I will arrange and pay it for you." I offer. I need to ensure she is safe and well, or else who knows what she will do in the future.

"Sir is kind. I want another contract." I cock my head to the side. She wants to be a submissive again? It isn't uncommon for submissives to seek new dominants after they end with one, but I have never assisted in this process. Nor do I intend to. I could ask Elena to help though it would piss Ana off big time. No! That would mean Leila stays here in Seattle. I want her as far away as possible. Another thought comes to mind.

"I will have Taylor contact someone I have had some loose association with. He runs a club, on the East Coast. Maybe he knows someone seeking a new submissive. Remember that you have signed an NDA. You can never tell your new Dom about us." That is the most that I will offer to do. I never ever get involved in the relationship of other doms and submissives.

"No, that is not what I meant, master." I cock my head to the side, unsure of Leila intentions. She is so erratic that it's impossible to pre-empt anything that will come out of her mouth. "I want another contract with you."

"No" I reply sternly.

"Sir, you just said that you would give me the help I need. To simply name it and that is you, master."

"No," I reply. Leila smirks. Her behaviour becomes erratic again. Fuck, all that work for nothing. I lunge for her, but it's too late. Leila manages to grab the gun.

"It's because of her."

"Leila, our contract ended two years ago."

"I could hurt Ana still. If she were gone, then you would be free. I could give you everything you desire. I can be what you want. You said it yourself, when you came in here earlier tonight, as you scolded Ana. She didn't obey immediately. She was disobedient. She isn't submissive. I can tell."

"Ana is everything I want." That she is. I want her forever. Yes, that is what I want. Ana with me forever. I have known this since she fell into my office.

"Then I will have to kill her. Someday.. somehow."

"No." I need to take control of Leila. There is one technique that worked with her. I only did it once, early in our relationship. It put her in her place and illustrated that I was the master and she is the submissive. I did it and it worked. It meant she would willingly go with Dr. Flynn, the hospital staff and get the help she needed. Afterwards, I will have security watching her. She wouldn't be a danger then.

* * *

"Christian what did you do?" Ana probes. I hoped that I had explained enough but, of course, it wasn't. That's my Ana. Always wanting to know every last detail. I hesitate. I wish I could go back in time. Find a different solution, but at the time, desperation got the best of me. "You promised me to be honest. Omitting information isn't truthful." I sigh. That night, when I returned to Escala after Leila was taken to seek professional help at the facility, I only told Ana that I gave her a bath and dressed her in some of her old clothes. I never mentioned the white panties or the wooden spoon, and I didn't mention the worse of it.

"I denied her."

"What?"

"I ripped her underwear, lifted up her top and teased her. I made her aroused and took her to the brink of orgasming, then stopped. Over and over. It's a standard tool in BDSM." The look on Ana's face says it all. I need to explain myself and quick. "It was a means to bring her to ultimate submission so she wouldn't be a threat. Leila needed to realise that I would always deny her."

Ana stands and walks away from me. I know this look. It is the look so many of my submissive's had after I punished them and one of the reasons why they would need a bedroom away from me. Space. They would need distance from my fifty shades.

"Ana..." I stand up. Following her. When I reach out for Ana to comfort her. She yells out.

"Don't. No!"

"Anastasia. I did the only thing I could to protect the only woman that I have ever loved. You. The pain of knowing that you could be hurt or worse killed because of my past is my worst nightmare. I love you too much."

"You touched her. Intimately. In a manner, that would arouse you. Did you become excited?

"Yes," I don't lie. I have done that enough. "But I didn't fuck her."

"Still hurts all the same. You had other options!" Ana's hugs her stomach and rocks a little. My girl is in pain and it's my fault. Fuck, I am an asshole. I stand up, with the full intention to sit next to her and put her on my lap to cradle her. Love her. Comfort her. Let her cry it all out and then carry her to bed. Let her sleep and start again tomorrow. But my hopes are destroyed.

"Do not come near me or I will scream for Taylor and Sawyer. If you lay on finger one me, I promise that you will never see me again." I run both of my hands through my hair, then sit down. The threat of never seeing Ana again is more torture then the nightmares the haunt me from our wedding day.

"I didn't know what else to do." _How many times am I going to have to tell her this?_

"You lied to me when you came back to the apartment that night, then proposed. Did you ask me to marry you out of guilt?" _What? Never! How can she even think this?_

"No. Fuck no Ana. I asked you because I only want to be with you. Without you, my life is empty. I am engulfed in darkness. I asked you to marry you because you are my world. I want to be with you forever. Marry me. Now!"

"What? Christian, you are crazy!" I can't help but smirk at her response. Marrying Ana is the most level headed thing I have ever decided.

"I am crazy for you. Marry me. Tonight or tomorrow. I can get everyone in our family that matters to us here by tomorrow. Or we can get on my jet and go to Vegas. Please, Ana, marry me!"

"I can't.. not now.. not... I don't know... I have to go. Thank you for your honesty. Goodbye, Christian" I suddenly become desperate. She is leaving. No!

"Ana.. don't please."

"I need time."

"I have given you time to think this all through! How much more do you need?"

"I don't know!" The heartbreak Ana is experiencing is painted in her eyes. "Goodbye Christian."

"Anastasia," I respond. I watch as she presses the button for the elevator that will take her away from me again. The door opens and a question I am yet to ask her pops into my head.

"Ana, before you go, tell me. Where did you get that photo from?" That damn picture. The one that Ana pinned to my board at Bellevue. The picture itself wasn't slanderous but told me that she knew more had happened that night than I told her. I was walking with Leila to the hospital vehicle. She was looking down completely submissive.

"Does it matter?"

"Please tell me," I beseech softly.

"It was delivered to me the night before our nuptials. It was waiting for me on my last day of work at SIP before our doomed marriage. There was a message on it."

"What did it say?"

"It said that ' _master will also be denied_.' Fuck Leila. How, I don't know but I will find out. I move closer to the elevator, as Ana stands inside. I am less than a foot away from her, but it feels like miles.

"I love you, Anastasia."

"I love you too, Christian."

With those words, the elevator doors close. I don't know how long I remained there staring at the elevator. Praying maybe it would open again and Ana would be there. I wonder when the elevator door will open again. Eventually, I turn and enter the penthouse. It seems so large and quiet now. The silence is almost deafening. The only thing I hear is a clock ticking. Seconds turn into minutes, then hours to days.

The question now is how long I will need to wait for Ana. Do I wait until she is ready, or do I fight for what is mine?

* * *

 **A/N: Hi All. this is my new story... or I may leave it as this. It is different to the others I have written. I don't know what you are all going to think about it, but I have enjoyed playing around with the characters.**

 **Also many thanks to MrsCTGrey who beta'ed this.**


	2. Strike Out

" **Strike Out"**

* * *

 **Christian's POV:**

I have been holed up in this meeting with Ros and several of my key employees for the past four hours as we wrap up a major acquisition that I have worked on non-stop. It kept my thoughts occupied allowing me to focus. Though the reality is, that Ana isn't far from my thoughts. Her punishment was well dished out. In my mind, I have married and taken her wedding dress off hundreds of times. Sometimes she had lingerie on underneath, other times my naughty little Aphrodite didn't. I sigh, bored with the meeting. At least, it's been fruitful and is now over. I don't know how much longer I can maintain my focus.

"Once the paperwork is signed tomorrow, and the Federal Trade Commission gives it the seal of approval, I will hold a press conference announcing the purchase. Good work." I remark but remain expressionless.

With the meeting at an end and declining Ros's offer of lunch, I lie back in my chair. I allow my mind to daydream. Who am I kidding? Even if I didn't allow it, I wouldn't be able to stop.

 _This time, I imagine, us opening the door to our new home for the first time. The one we designed. It is completely furnished. Every piece of furniture was handpicked by us. We are moving in today. Before Ana takes a step inside, I pick her up and carry her over the threshold, but I don't put her down. I am only partly aware of the portraits on the wall of our wedding day, a day that went off without a hitch. I eventually put Ana down when we have gone up the stairs to our bedroom._

" _The first thing I want to do in our home is to make love to you. Slowly. I want to savor each moment." I whisper into her ear. Ana blushes but her eyes tell a different story. She is ready for me. Hot and wet._

" _Then you better undress me, husband."_

"... Mr Grey." I am dragged from my fantasy by Andrea. I don't know how long she has been standing there in the doorway of the conference room, but I suspect that she has called my name a couple of times. I blink and breathe out harshly. There it is again. The darkness I can handle, I have dealt with that beast before. It is the unspeakable loss and emptiness I feel. It eats away at my soul and what there was of my heart. I am not even alive.

"What is it, Andrea?" I am abrupt, and no longer look at her.

"Excuse me, Mr. Grey, you wanted to be informed should Miss Anastasia Steele called or arrived. She is currently downstairs and on her way up." Andrea tells me. My attention is peaked immediately. Ana is here. I can't help but smile knowing that I will get to see her again' however, I would like to scold her for her activity last night. What was she thinking? The nasty thought hits me. Ana is trying to move on.

"I will meet her in my office. I want you at your desk. Be ready to collect some lunch or drinks for Miss Steele and me, if need be. I want you there. I don't trust Olivia not to fuck up my order."

"Yes, Mr. Grey."

I march to my office. A wealth of emotions hit me. It was only three days ago that Ana met me at Escala. I almost tore the place apart last night when security informed me that she went to a movie with some guy. They identified him as Charlie Brant. According to the background check on him, he studied at WSU with Ana. I would have hunted him down if she had invited him into her apartment... I still might. He kissed Ana. She kissed him back. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but I deserve it. I did more. Fuck! I want to turn back the clock!

Anxiety, trepidation and excitement hit me all over again once I am in my office. I get to see Ana again. I pray that she has decided to resume our relationship, then engagement. Maybe she wants to get married immediately. I am being irrational now. At best, I can hope for a civil conversation and Ana desiring to be in my company. She did admit to me that she still loves me.

Ana storms into my office. She has come here numerous of times, but always politely greets Andrea and inquires to whether or not I am free. Instead, today she brusquely asked if I was in. I only know that because Ana had already opened the door to my office as they spoke. I once wanted her as my submissive. For her obey my rules and commands, but I like her feisty side also. Nothing is more erotic that her smart mouth.

"Anastasia. It's good to see you. Please sit down. Would you like a drink or a..." Before I am able to offer her some lunch, Ana approached and slapped me. She has struck me. No one has struck me since I was four...before the crack whore died. My face stings. For someone so petite, Ana can hit. Of course, she can. She is fuelled by retribution.

"Fuck you, Grey."

"I deserved that. I am surprised you didn't do that when I saw you last at Escala."

"That wasn't because of what you told me on Saturday night," Ana calls out now walking out of my office.

"Ana... Anastasia...STOP!" I beg her. I wish I hadn't raised my voice, but I am desperate. However, she doesn't listen. I chase after Ana. I could care less who on my staff is watching us. Getting to Ana is the only important matter. I finally catch up with her at the elevator.

"Pressing the down button over and over isn't going to make it come faster," I comment apologetically. I wait a few moments for her response but it doesn't come. "Ana... this is killing me."

"Killing you?" Ana looks at my laughs. "That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time."

"What did you mean by the fact that you didn't hit me because of my disclosure? What else have I done to make you want to hate me more? To force you to want to lash out?" I am desperate to know. Without information, I can't make everything right. "Please, Ana tell me."

"It is none of your concern anymore. Goodbye Christian." The elevator doors open and Ana rushes in. I concentrate on the elevator doors, waiting strategically for them to close. As soon as they start to move I step into the elevator. It's too late for Ana to push me out or make a scene.

"Anastasia, everything you do is my concern. I fucked up... I know that. I want to make things right. Tell me what else I have done."

"You don't deserve the privilege. When these elevator doors open I am going to get out and you will not. Don't push me. You will regret it."

"Ana, please! I spent all of yesterday talking to Flynn. I understand that I fucked up and what I did was wrong. I am going to work on me while fighting like hell to get you back. To regain your trust. To deserve your love."

"I doubt you or I will live long enough." Once more Ana stabs the knife deeper in my heart, but I am the one who gave her the tools. "This is the last time that I will willingly see you."

"You don't mean that... tell me that you don't mean it." I can't stop myself from becoming insistent and authoritative.

"I do. You have no idea how much you have hurt me. How much you have ruined everything!" Ana has expressed so many emotions in the short time we had been together but never has she been so enraged.

The elevator doors open before I can say anything else. I can't let Ana leave like this. I grab her hand before she is able to exit.

"Let go of me!"

"Ana, I don't know what else to say. If I could turn back time, then I would, but that isn't possible."

"Let go of me. Now!."

"I can't." I couldn't give a fuck how this scene looks to anyone who might be watching. I am scared if I let go I won't see her again.

"Let go of me or else I will scream. Don't test me, Grey; I have lost so much because of you. You have no idea how much. If you push me, I will destroy you just like you destroyed me." _What?_ _No Ana. Please don't say that. Don't think it. Don't let that be true. No Ana! I never wanted to destroy you! I only want to love you. Protect you._ If I were to verbalize how I was feeling, then I would be falling into a void, with no sign of stopping.

I let go of her because I don't want her to get any more worked up than she is. Ana has always been pale, but she is even more so now. If only she knew how much I still love her. How much I regret everything. I know I am an adolescent. I did what I thought was right, making Leila heel, breaking her to prevent Ana getting hurt. I have spent hours with Flynn. She played me. Her short statement on the back of that photo was coming to true, 'master will be denied'. I was being denied the only person I have really ever wanted. Ana.

"I am still going to fight for you," I tell Ana. She turns around to look at me briefly and I try to read her, but it's not possible. How can I interpret her body language and expression when we are both in so much pain?

# # # #

"Elliot, I am not in the mood for company," I tell my brother who has entered my apartment without calling beforehand. After my encounter with Ana today, I cancelled my remaining meetings and came home, seeking refuge in my piano. Taylor and Gail have been hovering at a distance.

"I sent you a text. Are you ignoring your cell phone now?" I heard the phone beep but didn't pay attention to it. I didn't care to. I knew that it wouldn't be Ana. I continue to play my piano, attempting to lose myself once more, though my brother makes it a trial.

"Gail, that smells incredible... Christian, are you going to eat? If not then I am claiming your dinner!."

"There is enough for you both. Just give me a few minutes to plate up. I also have some of those boutique beers you like."

"Gail if it wasn't for Kate, and the fact that your boyfriend carries a gun and a trained marine, I would sweep you off your feet so fast." Elliot remarks having a small taste of the dish she is preparing. "Have you ever thought about leaving my brother? I probably couldn't pay as much as my brother, but I promise you would have more fun at my place." I narrow my eyes. I stand and enter the kitchen, ending my brother's smooth talk.

"Mrs. Jones, my brother and I will be ready to eat when it is convenient for you." I enter the kitchen and pour a couple of glasses of wine. I know my brother would prefer a beer, but it won't go well with our meal. He is thirty now, more than enough time to develop some taste. "Elliot if you may." I signal to my brother to exit the kitchen.

"Cheers for the wine, but after dinner, I am going to raid your beer supply. You owe me, asshole." That I do, even though I don't admit it. He would never shut up about it.

"Is that so?" I reply dryly.

"Shit yeah! By now, not only should I be engaged to Kate but since the debacle of your wedding that on the back burner. Tonight I should have already had me a couple of beers, a big juicy steak dinner at the local grill with Kate, taken her home and been balls deep inside of her. But no, instead Kate and Ana are at my house, drinking cocktails and eating ice cream together. I bet I am not even going to get any tonight. So, fuck yeah, you owe me and you will owe me more by the end of the night." Elliot complains. I do feel some guilt over Elliot not being able to propose to Kate yet. He doesn't believe that it is right at the moment and doesn't want his relationship to fail.

"You know where I keep my beer. Though if you are going to drink then give Taylor your car keys. You can stay the night or I will have you driven home."

"I prefer to stay the night. No way I am going to get lucky. Kate and Ana are likely to pass out from sugar and alcohol."

"Ana came and saw me today" I inform my brother.

"I heard. You still have a slight red mark on your face. Ana got you good!"

"Seems you heard a more than I presumed."

"Christian, you wouldn't believe what else I heard. Did Ana tell you why she hit you? Why she was so mad at you today?"

"She refused. Only said that it wasn't specifically the Leila situation."

"That's correct. Ana slapped you because she is mad at you. The last night she agreed to go to the new movie of some old book that she likes..." _It was an adaptation of Jane Austen's book, 'Emma'. I knew it was being released soon. I had intended to take Ana to the premiere in New York._ "...with an old college friend who studied English literature. He walked Ana come and then kissed her. She kissed him back." I can feel my blood boil. I already knew about this, but hearing it again is making me angry again. I take a step away from Elliot to prevent myself from taking out my frustration out on him.

"This is where you need to listen. Ana told Kate that she didn't feel anything. That the kiss was dull. Ana was shocked as supposedly every kiss with you was powerful and aroused her. She went inside the apartment and made Ethan kiss her."

"What the fuck? Ethan kissed Ana? I am going to have that boy castrated."

"Hang on! Ethan was forced to. Ana made him kiss her, seriously kiss her, but again nothing. Supposedly, Ana then kissed some other guy the next day but nothing. She just didn't feel the same. Ana is furious that you made her feel like she is floating on air every time you kissed her and she can't replicate it." I am jumping for joy while hating myself even more. "That's the good news."

"What's the bad news?" I order, rather than request.

"Ana is pretty angry at this discovery that she said that it's going to be no holds bars. She plans on kissing as many men as possible. The girl is on the prowl."

"Fuck. I am going to tighten security around her."

"I don't see how that is going to stop her. Ana has been hanging out with Kate a lot so I see her regularly. She still loves you, but you need to fight harder. You need to show Ana that you are ready to put everything out there. No secrets. That you love her so much that you are willing to risk everyone and anything!"

"I know. I intend to. I am going to speak to our parents this weekend. Explain to them." I have been trying to avoid this, but I have no choice. It will be evidence to Ana that I am sorry, understand that I was wrong and am ready to be accountable.

"Okay, but the other reason I am here is that you need help. I want to help you. I feel responsible that I didn't see what was happening with you and Elena when we were teenagers. I am your big brother. I should have known and stopped it. So, let's clean up your shit. First we need to work out where the photo came from and how it was delivered to Ana. We need to hunt that person or persons down."

"We have a theory actually. One which you could prove, or disprove now that you mentioned it."

* * *

 **A/N: So there were some interesting reviews... mixed responses, etc. Some didn't want me to write anymore, some did. Obviously, there are some difficult times ahead. Review if you wish.**

 **Many thanks to Mrs CTGrey, who betaed this chapter.**


	3. Getting the Bottom of the Truth and

_Authors Note: I apologize for the wait, but a tragedy in real life has prevented me from writing much lately. Do me a favor. If you have children, no matter how mad they make you, or how poorly they behave, or anything... tell them, you love them every day. You never know when it will be the last time you get the chance..._

* * *

 **Getting the Bottom of the Truth and the Bottle**

* * *

 **Elliot's POV:**

In the words of my brother; _Fuck_! If I didn't love the asshole and he wasn't my only brother, I would never have agreed to this. Christian is going to owe me big time. I take another drink of my beer, finishing it off. I have almost finished, but I won't order another one yet. I am going to have several drinks this evening if I ever manage to somehow get him alone. Him... Ethan Kavanagh. The brother of the hottest woman I have ever met and one that I should have proposed to. It wasn't right to do as planned due to my brothers failed wedding, but we can't change that. He is also suspect number one.

Unbeknownst to anyone, I have been struggling with my brother's disclosure. I failed him, as his older brother and best friend. If only I had been with him that day, or it had rained or if my parents decided just to send him to his room that day that Elena pounced on Christian... maybe then all this shit wouldn't have happened. I don't condone my brother's actions with his ex-submissive. I think I think he was out of his mind. Though in a strange way, I think to understand why he did it. Yes it was erroneous, and he deserves to suffer as a result, but in his twisted, megalomaniac way, he had to protect Ana.

No matter how trying my task is tonight, it will be nothing compared to what my brother was contending with. Christian has entered going full force to get Ana back.

The first of which was proving he would always be honest and open. As evidenced by this tonight, he is telling our parents what happened. The whole story. Elena, the submissive's, Leila and why Ana didn't go through with the marriage ceremony. I check my watch. Christian would have been at our parent's home for some time now. I am worried about him, our mother, our father... our whole family. I won't even dare to predict the ramifications of this disclosure. I consider messaging Christian, but he will just ask me what I have found out about the photo, and I don't have those answers yet.

"I want to dance. Kate, come with me!" Ana had only had a couple of drinks, one with dinner and one when we arrived at the club, but you would think she had consumed several drinks. Christian was right when he said that Ana was a bit of a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.

"Best friend duties call," Kate announces playfully. "You boys be good." I can't help but stare at my girls amazing ass. I am going to claim her from behind soon. Look at that ass! Who wouldn't want to!

"Want another drink?" Ethan offers. I am awoken from my daydream, rather unwillingly. Damn! I quickly look over at the girls, who are dancing freely. Sawyer is standing close, but discretely by. No one will be able to touch them while he is around, giving me the time to focus on the task at hand. My brother has not only sent Sawyer but also Ryan with us this evening. One to watch Ana and the other make sure Ethan doesn't get too friendly with Ana.

"Yeah, but it's on me." I approach the bar and order four bourbon and cokes. Two of which are doubles. Those are for Ethan. He had a couple of drinks before we came out, two at dinner and he has already had one here at the club. These two drinks should help to loosen him up more. I haven't known Ethan long, but I spent some time with him when I went to Barbados to catch up with Kate. He was polite but a little awkward and quiet. Tonight, he is talkative and ever so bold. Ethan has taken every opportunity he can to try to touch Ana. You would think that he would practice some restraint considering the brother of Ana's ex-fiancé is sitting only a few feet away.

"Since the girls are busy dancing, I thought we would have some real manly' drinks. We better hurry before one of them comes back and wants one. I don't think either is too good at holding their liquor." I raise one of my glasses and drink it straight. Ethan does the same.

"Whoa... That was strong."

"Come on Kavanagh, don't tell me that living with two girls has you pussy whipped." He scowls at me, but I maintain my cool, drinking the entire contents of my second drink down. Ethan, it seems doesn't like to have his masculinity challenged, and in a swift move, drinks his second glass in a matter of seconds. "I see you're thirsty." I signal to Ryan, and promptly he gets us another order of drinks. Ryan thankfully ordered a couple of weaker drinks for me and from the look on Ethan's face his third and fourth glass is even stronger.

"So, Ana looks pretty good tonight. Are you going to make a move? Because since she is the best friend of my girlfriend, it matters to me." I grin and act cool. Though I almost lose it and rip him a new one as he looks over at Ana and eye fucks her.

"Ana is the best friend of my sister. She matters to me more. Now cut the crap, don't you mean that it matters to you because Ana is your brother's ex-fiancé?" That also, but it's not as if I can admit that.

"Christian and Ana are over. My brother has gone back to being the big and powerful CEO twenty-four seven. Sure it was great when he joined the human race for that nanosecond, but I have been around. I know when a ship has sailed." I sound so damn convincing that even I start to believe myself. "Right now I am concerned about my girl being unavailable to me as she has been comforting Ana."

"Ana won't need comforting much longer." Ethan raises his glass is sporting a broad, arrogant grin. He couldn't look more egotistical if he tried. Ethan might as well take out a billboard. Mentally I am debating between beating him to a pulp or should I bury him in cement on one of my construction sites.

"Know something I don't?"

"Just because you and your brother are a part of the Grey family doesn't mean you control the world. Tell me when you were all adopted, how old were you all when your parents began instructing you and your siblings that you were all omnipotent? Hang on your brother fell off that pedestal the day of his wedding. Didn't he?"

That's it. I am going to bury him in cement in the building complex I have just won the contract for. Sure my brother screwed up, but never insult our parents and their methods in raising us! They gave us everything, but never did they allow us to become spoiled or believe we were invincible! I was also wrong before. Kavanagh is able to look even more egotistical. He drinks down the last of his drink and leans back on the padded booth chair. The combination of arrogance and far too much alcohol is fueling Ethan's false perception that he is untouchable. I think that it's his parents that we should be questioning right now. Kate is a little spoiled but in comparison to this asshole, she is a saint. It is well known that I am by far the most affable brother in my family, always maintaining my cool. But right now I would rather take a page out of my brother's book before the age of fifteen. Stuff this, time to get to the point!

"How did you get the photo to Ana?" It's obvious that it was him, but I need to find out how. That is what Christian needs.

"Me?" I am starting to question if he is a psychopath and is the one in need of psychologist instead. He is acting innocent. I wonder if I could signal to Ryan to take Ethan out back for me and wait till I can make a casual exit and knock him out for me.

"Cut the crap, or I will go on that dance floor and tell Ana it was you. She doesn't know does she?"

"Ana is going to be mine no matter what. You know, I was disappointed when your brother didn't turn up on my doorstep after the wedding. I thought he would have worked it out. Guess he was pretty messed up." Ethan grins.

"You're a coward. You got the photo to Ana somehow without her knowing it was you. How do you think she will feel about you when she learns that it has you planted the picture rather than giving it to her yourself?" Ethan looks over to Ana and then to me. He isn't as smug as before, but he hasn't mellowed.

"Okay, you want to know. Then sit back and enjoy the tale of when Mogul Grey failed."

 **Christian's POV:**

"Taylor I won't need you for the rest of the evening or tomorrow. Go and see your daughter, or whatever you wish." I tell him, not making eye contact. I look down and start to head off towards the elevator.

"Sir, I am happy to remain on standby, as is Gail. You may..."

"No! I will see you both on Monday morning." I walk away. I don't want to see anyone, nor will I need anything. It is best that no one be around me right now. All I have done is hurt the people I love the most... those who love me. I have spent the last few hours confessing to my parents. Telling them everything. My mother and father.. they were. I can't explain it. It was a combination of disbelief, anger, sadness, regret... a whole smorgasbord of emotions. I don't know if there is anything else I could ever do in my life that would disappoint them more. Yep, I am one fucked up asshole. Then after I told them the truth... they... they... why?

I enter the kitchen; pull out the glass and a bottle of bourbon from one of the top cabinets. I operate on automation. It isn't until I raise my glass to my lips that I realize that it's empty. Shit, have I already finished that bottle. I grab an unopened bottle, pouring a generous amount into my glass. I need to retreat from all of this. I take my glass and approach my piano. It has given me so much solace in the past and allowed me to lose myself and forget the darkness that surrounded me. But no longer. My hands move mechanically along the keys; the music sounds the same, but it's different. Ana once said that everything I play is so sad, but the cheerlessness of these tunes is nothing to what I feel. Oh god, how I feel. I wish I didn't! I would give everything to end this pain.

Hours later and I am still sitting at my piano, on autopilot. The only thing that has changed is the quantity of liquid in the bottle of bourbon. I only stop playing when my cell phone rings. I would ignore it except its Elliot and he was meeting the fucker, Ethan, suspect number one. About fucking time he called me!

"Elliot!" I reply gruffly.

"Hey, there Mr. Pleasant" I grunt at my brothers sarcastic tone. Elliot makes it a sport out of mocking me, but he is rarely disparaging.

"What you found out?" Once more I dispel with any pleasantries. I have never been a fan of them, and it isn't on my current agenda

"Ethan admitted to it. Hell if he could yell it from the Seattle Space Needle I sure he would."

"Fucking bastard. I am... going... to... to have... him..." Shit! The combination of my rage and alcohol consumption is making it hard to formulate sentences.

"Christian, have you been drinking?"

"Just tell me what the asshole said!"

"Fine don't admit it, but even a moron would be able to tell you've been drinking. I fear that you are going to want to drink more after you hear this." Elliot pauses and then groans. "You were right; Ethan has wanted Ana for some time. When he saw you leave the apartment with Leila and Taylor, he took the photo with his iPhone. The institution's name was in the hospital car that Leila was transported in. Ethan, figuring something was amiss, went to the hospital and lied to the staff about being a family member. They ended up letting him see her. Leila supposedly wouldn't say boo until Ethan told her who he was and that he wanted Ana. Ethan showed her the photo he took. Leila didn't say much, but she did take the picture and write that statement about you being denied. Ethan isn't aware of the nature of your relationship or what the statement meant. He didn't care. He was only interesting in getting what he wants. Same for Leila." My blood starts to boil. Regardless of my already intoxicated state, I pour myself another glass. The amber liquid no longer burns. As quickly as it took me to fill the glass, I empty it, drinking it all down in one mouthful.

"Where is Kavanagh now?" I slur.

"Shit Christian, you need to stop drinking. Is Taylor there? I am coming over."

"Where is Kavanagh?" I repeat.

"Okay little bro, your IQ might be miles above mine, but there is no fucking way that I am going to tell you that. You're so drunk that you are likely to have Ethan buried alive right now, and that is not going to solve anything. Though truth be told, I would probably help you. It would make us both feel better."

"How did this evening go with Mom and Dad?" Elliot's voice shifts, becoming flat and worrisome. At first, I don't reply. I replay the expressions on my parent's faces as I told them the whole sordid story from the time I was 15 till the last time I saw Ana, after the doomed wedding. I stop each time when I repeat my parent's last words to me... It hurts... because... it always will.

"I believe you can envision how it went."

"Yeah... look bro stay there I am coming over. Let me talk to Sawyer to get the girls home and I will take a cab to your place or have Ryan drive me. DO. NOT. GO. ANYWHERE!" Before I am able to object, my brother hangs up. I would order Taylor to ensure he doesn't come in, but my state prevents me.

 **Ana's POV:**

 _What on earth am I doing here? Why, oh why did I offer to help?_ I mentally chastise myself. I start to bang my head against the elevator wall. Not enough to hurt, but adequately enough to try to knock some sense into me. This is the last thing I expected or wanted to be doing tonight, especially at this hour. Kate, Ethan, Elliot and I, after having dinner, spent the evening at a local upmarket bar and club. I felt like letting my hair down. Kate and I had a couple of drinks with Elliot and Ethan before we hit the dance floor at the club. I couldn't care less how bad my dancing was.

Before the four of us were about to go back to our apartment. Elliot started to act distant and even more so before he took a phone call from Mia. After some prompting from Kate, he privately admitted to her, and he needed to get to Christian as he was in a pretty bad place, but Elliot also needed to get to his parents.

Christian had emailed me earlier today with the subject heading, 'making things right' but I chose not to read it. I have decided that I have to move on. Slowly I turned around, to open my email on my phone and read it without generating suspicion.

* * *

To: Anastasia Steele

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Making things right

Dear Ana,

As I said, I will fight for you. Prove that I can be trusted and worthy of your love. Tonight I am having dinner with my parents. Afterwards, I will tell them. Everything. I am coming clean. I know it will hurt them, but I can't keep these secrets anymore. The first way I will fight for you is through honesty.

Please don't drink too much tonight.

I love you. Only you.

Christian Grey

Missing you... all of you. CEO Grey Enterprise.

* * *

I knew that it would have been a hard conversation for all. My heart began to break for Grace. Elena was her friend. Grace and Carrick learned about Christian and Elena's past on the day we celebrated his birthday and announced our engagement, but they weren't informed of the sexual nature of their relationship. I couldn't even commence to guess how Carrick had taken the news. As one of Seattle's most experienced lawyers, he has heard it all. Although when it is your son, there is no way that you would be able to keep your emotions from boiling over. I know Christian. He had entered the dangerous cycle, believing he is a complete disappointment to his parents. While Christian attests that he works as hard as he does because he doesn't want to be poor. The real reason is he wants to prove to his parents that adopting him was the right decision and that he deserves their love. I had hoped to help Christian accept that no matter what, his parents loved him unconditionally.

Elliot was an emotional mess and needed to get to his parents. On the other hand, as Christian's only brother and close friend, he was the only one who would be able to ensure he doesn't withdraw further into the darkness. The only one other than him is me. So here I am, at Escala in the elevator heading up to Christian's penthouse. I am not here to resume our relationship or to offer some hope. I am here to ensure Christian is alright. I am not here to determine if his fifty shades had multiplied or anything else.

Taylor looks surprised though pleased to see me when he opens the doors to the Penthouse for me.

"Miss Steele."

"Taylor, please call me Ana. For the billionth time, it's Ana."

"I am glad to see you. Ana." I breathe out. Finally, he is calling me Ana.

"Thank you... now where is _he_ and how bad is _he_?"

"Mr. Grey is in the main room. He is less than optimal."

"Great" I reply, rolling my eyes. Taylor follows me into the main room where I can just make out a rather drunk Christian, even though the room is relatively dark. "Thank you, Taylor. I will take it from here."

"Do you need me to get you anything?" Taylor offers.

"No... Actually yes. Can you get me a pot of hot, black coffee?" In all honesty, I have no idea if black coffee will help his inebriated state, but I have heard that it helps. Taylor offers me his trademark impassive nod. I switch the lights on, flooding the room. Christian groans and mutters something about turning them off. He thinks I am one of the staff. Fair enough as I doubt he would have heard Taylor and me talking just then.

I walk around so I can evaluate how bad Christian is. There is a bottle of bourbon on the table with only a quarter of its contents left. My would-be-husband unceremoniously sprawled on the couch. I know he isn't asleep as he is still holding on to his empty glass. I wonder if he is even aware that I am here.

"Christian," I call his name softly. When he doesn't respond, I raise my voice several times. "Christian, can you hear me?"

"Ana?" Christian utters before he opens his eyes though strains to see due to the bright lights. "You're here."

"And here I thought I was in the Bahamas."

"Sarcasm is still the lowest form of whit."

"Whatever" I reply. Taylor walks in with a pot of dark black coffee and mug.

"Is there anything else I can do?" He seems eager to leave. I assess that this has been a familiar scene lately.

"Thank you Taylor, but no. I think you have had to deal with enough. If I need help, I know where to find you." Taylor nods in acknowledgment and heads off upstairs.

"If I am dreaming, then I pray I don't ever wake up. I never thought I would be alone with you here after you left last time."

"That makes two of us. Also, you're not dreaming. Here drink this coffee." I pass him a mug though don't let go until I know he has a firm grip on it. A drunken Christian is bad enough. A drunken Christian with burns would be worse. Christian fingers take hold of the mug and inadvertently touch mine. Or maybe not so accidentally. I remove my hands quickly and commence to assess the situation.

"How much have you had to drink?"

"A lot." I looked around and scattered on the floor is his suit jacket, tie, shoes and even his socks. Very un-Christian like. I pick them up. This man needs to get himself together.

"You don't need to do that Ana." I want to scold him, tell him that he doesn't get to tell me what to and not to do. Instead, I focus on the task at hand.

"Have you eaten?" I quiz. I promised Elliot that I would make sure Christian was unharmed and intend to do so. Only this. I am filing this under as an act of human compassion.

"No."

"What? ' _Honestly, its drinking rule number one'_ "Christian attempts to stifle his laugh, at my deliberate repeat of his words to me after our first night together. Hhhmm.. Christian not eating... this is a bad sign.

"Why didn't you eat?"

"It's been a rough evening. I had intended to eat with my parents then dinner got missed." Sorrow engulfs him. "Ana, I am so sorry. I know that words aren't enough I still love you. So much. Stay with me."

"I can't. I shouldn't have come here. Elliot didn't know what to do. "

"I know. Elliot is at our parents. He emailed me telling me he was going over. Elliot has always been the son I couldn't be." Christian's voice progressively got lower and lower. I wonder if he still sees Flynn. Christian is in dire need of several appointments.

"You need to shower and eat. I will cook you something while you get cleaned up." _Then you can go to bed, and I can go home._ I take the coffee mug from Christian, to save it from breaking when I notice that he is struggling to place it on the coffee table safely. I watch surprised that he manages to get to his feet so easily, but his balance is short lived when he attempts to take his first step. On instinct, I step towards him and place my hands on his arms, to prevent him falling. Why on earth I expected my petite form to stand any chance at keeping him upright I will never know. He continues to fall, though luckily backwards onto the couch, although taking me with him.

Damn! I end on top of Christian. Gravity pressing my body against his. We are face to face. Our eyes interlock. It is almost as if time stands still. Almost that is. When Christian places his hands my back, I am reminded of what he did and why we aren't happily married. I push myself up and step away. I look towards the door of the penthouse, knowing I should walk out. It was partly my fault that I landed on Christian, but it has awoken painful emotions inside of me.

"Ana, please don't leave. I am going to have a shower. You are right. I need to eat. If you still care to cook something, then I would be most appreciative. If not then I will understand. I can heat something up or ask Mrs. Jones. She is here, upstairs." I must look as conflicted as I feel. Christian burns himself when he is cooking, at the best of times. He is likely to burn the whole apartment down if he enters his kitchen. Also, I caught up with Gail last week, after finally finding a time that she was free. After a lot of convincing, she admitted to me that she hadn't wanted to take any time off lately, not even on the weekends when she wasn't scheduled. Gail has remained on hand in case Christian needed her. Christian wasn't looking after himself. A statement confirmed by the sight in front of me.

"No. I will do it. The last thing Gail needs is to be interrupted at this late hour. Plus, I promised your brother I would ensure you are alright. Can you walk?"

"I will do my best." Christian stands slowly and gradually moves towards the bedroom. It's more of a complicated wobble, but somehow he is getting one leg in front of the other.

I had been in the kitchen for several minutes before I realized that it felt like as if I had never left. I have always loved cooking here. Every appliance at my fingertips with a well-supplied pantry and fridge. I add the last of the ingredients, then put it into the oven. Perfect. Now all I have to do is wait several minutes.

Christian reappears. Looking a little sturdier on his feet, though he still has to concentrate hard on each step. Christian has showered, shaved and changed his clothes. Only he can look so good in a pair of jeans and charcoal V-neck shirt while still under the influence. I refuse to show it, but I feel a surge of power knowing Christian cleaned up because I am here. On the other hand, I pray he doesn't think that I am coming back or ready to start again.

"That smell delicious." I refuse to look at him or even respond, busying myself with plating the food. He offers me one of my favorite smiles, shy and chivalrous, as I pass him a glass of water. "Are you going to eat also?"

"No. I ate already."

"Oh yeah.. my brother mentioned that."

"I will clean up and then once I know you are safe in bed, and can't get into any more trouble, I will leave."

"Would you sit with me?"

"I don't think that is a good idea."

"Ana... please.."

"No."

"Okay then stand there. You should know that we discovered who placed that photo in your room the day of the wedding..." I hold my hand up, stopping him from speaking.

"I already know. It was Ethan." Christian's eyes narrow in conjunction with his mouth opening slightly. A clear sign that he is upset and shocked at the same time. "It didn't matter who put the photo there. It doesn't change the context or contents of the picture. " I shake my head.

"Except Ethan had it in his possession not long after our engagement and he waited till the day of the wedding." I know Christian isn't lying. I had suspected weeks ago when Ethan had let something slip by accident. I was so irate at Christian that I couldn't think about much more. Though it confirmed the fact, that Ethan wanted more than just a friendship with me. If he had given me the photo earlier, then I would have learned the truth weeks before the wedding, and then there would have been an opportunity that I might have forgiven Christian. Our marriage would still have gone ahead as planned. I have been careful to ensure that I maintain only a friendship with Ethan. I need to reconfirm this with him soon. He was eye fucking me over and over tonight. Christian studies me apparently reading me and wisely decides to change the topic.

"So, are you wishing that Ethan had played his cards before you spent all the money on the wedding?" I hiss.

"Anastasia, how could you say that?"

"Forget it."

"Do you really believe I care about money over you?"

"No," I confess.

"Finally, something we agree on."

"I went to Bellevue tonight," Christian comments changing the topic. His expression is bleak. I couldn't even begin to imagine how it went. No mother should have to hear about this. In fact, neither should any father.

"I know. I read your email." Christian perks up at my admission.

"Good. I was worried that you wouldn't."

"How did it go?" I mentally chastise myself for the second time, for asking such a lame question. "I mean.. how did your parents... do you..." I have no idea how to phrase this question. "..forget it. I shouldn't have asked."

"Yes, you should. It was difficult. My parents were excited to see me. I had been avoiding them and everyone else. I didn't want them to see the monster that I was.." I huff at his description of himself and interject before he can say anything else.

"Christian, you are not a monster" A liar, and fifty shades yes. But even I know that this description isn't correct.

"I am. I hurt the person that I loved the most." Christian looks so vulnerable and repentant. I look away, protective of my feelings, but it means that I don't see Christian extend out his hand to touch my face. His fingers, his touch feel so soft but I shuffle along the couch. Ensuring I am more than an arm's length away. I don't allow myself to indulge nor do I want to lead Christian on. I fear my coming here tonight is doing that already.

"So, you said that your parents were happy to see you tonight. Did you talk to them straight away?" I question, leading him to continue his retelling of tonight's events.

"We were supposed to have dinner first but I asked if we could talk first. I needed to get on with it and tell them everything immediately. Not wanting to eat until later was a sure sign to my parents that something was wrong." I smile slightly at Christian's attempt to make a joke though neither of us laughs. "I started telling them about what was going on in my mind before Elena, and how our relationship started. I told them the nature of our relationship but didn't go into specifics or anything like that. I told them how Linc learned of our relationship and his reaction. Then becoming a dominant, having submissive's and then the turning point in my life. The day you stumbled, head first into my office. I told my parents how I finally came alive as a result, though when Leila threatened you, I didn't think. I did what I thought was the only way to stop her."

"It must have been one hell of a roller coaster for your parents to hear that." I assess

"That is one way of looking at it. Their excitement, turned to concern, horror, regret, anger, shock, and then hope when I talked about you. Then when I told them what I did, answering the final question Why you didn't marry me. They were so angry. No, it's more than that. I don't know if there is the word to describe what my parents were feeling. I didn't dare look at them longer than a few seconds."

"Oh, Christian." I shake my head. I don't know if I should pity him, this is a mess of his own making. Though I know now that I need to go to Bellevue. To see Grace at the very least.

"My parent's housekeeper knocked on the study door, where I gave my undesirable history lesson. She entered without being invited and asked if we still wished to eat. My mother stated that she had lost her appetite. All three of us had. We all sat there for, I don't know how long. I wanted for them to yell, anything. But it didn't come. They were too much in a state of shock. I apologized to my parents and told them that I should go. I didn't want to destroy what was left of their evening. I politely excused myself and started to walk out the house. Once I was almost at the front door to leave, I stopped. My father had called out my name. Quietly, I sighed but turned around. I expected my dad to start to yell, to tell me how disappointed they were with me, but.."

Tears didn't run down Christian's face though they threatened to do so. It was taking all his strength to hold them back. Christian stopped talking. I have seen him in many states, but none like this.

"But.. what?"

"There was my mother and father. Mom walked towards me, she placed her hands on my arms and then kissed me. Mom then looked at me. It was as if she was looking into my soul. I tried to mask the fear in my eyes. As you have often said, I entered CEO mode. My mom said… I can't believe it still. My mom said that I had messed up more than ever, but no matter what that she loved me. That she and dad loved me and always will. My mother then gave me a small sympathetic smile. It was the same smile I first saw as a child at the hospital when I woke up and there she was. I told my parents that I would see them soon and left."

"I have hurt my parents more than any other person. They gave me everything and I failed them; however, they still love me. They still want me to be happy." I didn't expect anything less from Grace and Carrick Grey. Especially Grace. They were the epitome of perfect love and forgiveness. Oh, how I wish I could be so forgiving, but I guess they were right when they said that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

"You need to finish eating."

"It's delicious." I sit there for the next few minutes that it takes him to finish the meal.

"You should go to bed. Sleep off the alcohol that must still be in your system."

"Yes, Ma'am." I smile at has a response, but hate that he can still invoke these feelings in me. Christian and I stand. I make a move to grab my bag, but Christian blocks me. "Stay with me tonight, Ana. It's late. Let me hold you. Let me love you."

"No. That's not why I came here tonight. I came so Elliot wouldn't have a stroke wondering if you had drunk yourself into smithereens while comforting your parents due to your ... transgressions. Tonight had nothing to do with love." I reply bitterly.

"You said you still loved me."

"I do, but.."

"No buts. It's been weeks. Let me hold you in our bed, or at the very least stay in one of the guest rooms. Have breakfast with me. I can repay the favor for dinner."

"I can't. It wouldn't be fair."

"To whom?"

"To both of us."

"But you are willing to go around kissing strange men? I know that you that have been hitting the bars and clubs with plans on kissing as many men as possible. The description I received is that you were on the prowl." I want to roll my eyes, make a sarcastic comment and throw his encounter with Leila in his face, but I don't. I could be honest and explain that while I did plan on this and even kissed a few men, out of vengeance, though this venture lasted less than two days. The memory of Christian was too fresh in my mind and I had to accept that I wasn't ready to move on. My heart wouldn't let me. Instead, I stand with my head up high. I won't give him a response.

"Good night Christian. I will let Elliot know that you are 'ok'." I don't dare to kiss him goodbye, or even share any sort of touch with him. Rather I walk out, focusing on each step.

"Don't go. I am sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"It seems that you end most of our conversations, no matter how rare they are with you saying ' _sorry and you didn't mean it'._ I need to go home. I did what I promised Elliot I would do." I spin around and begin to walk out. Just as soon as I believe that Christian is either still too far under the influence or is too overcome to have the last word, he stops me.

"Ana, before you go there is something I meant to give you. I was going to give it to you after our wedding, but of course, that never happened. This belongs to you." I frown confused as Christian opens the drawer of the antique side table. In his hands is a manila envelope.

"I don't want anything that is your Christian."

"This belongs to you."

"If you were to give it to me on our wedding night, then that envelope would constitute a wedding present. We never got married so it's not mine. It still belongs to you. Good night." I quickly enter the elevator and by the Grace of God, the doors close quickly.

# # # #

"Morning," Kate greets me with a cup of tea. It's past ten in the morning and I have only just woken up.

"Thanks. I need this big time!" Kate looks at me sympathetically and uncharacteristically doesn't start with her usual interrogation. I must look awful. "Did Elliot come back here last night?"

"Yes, but only at four in the morning. Grace and Carrick were pretty upset and after reassuring them that they hadn't failed as parents, Elliot went for a long run on the property. I think he needed to clear his head. Elliot is still asleep in my bed. In fact, I am going to go back to bed and read until he wakes up. How was Christian?"

"Drunk, but alive. He will be all right."

"Is that all?"

"Yes," I reply so harshly that Kate knows not to press the matter.

"Alright, Steele," Kate answers raising her eyebrows. "So, what are you going to do today?"

"I am not sure. I will probably go for a walk or something." Yes, a walk might be good. Maybe some fresh air will give me the strength to finally take the next step in what I have pretty much decided on my future. There is no way I can remain on paid leave from SIP.

"I will catch you later... oh, by the way, did you misplace this? I found this near the door this morning. It has your name on it. " Kate passes me the envelope. I know who it is from. I would recognize the writing anywhere, plus he tried to give it to me last night.

"Oh, yes. Thanks. I have been wondering where I put that." I take it only to prevent any questioning. Kate regards me cautiously as I try to act casual a little too hard. My best friend knows me too well. She will be able to see through me though Kate takes pity on me considering my recent history.

"Will you be home for dinner?"

"Sure. If you're good, I will even let you in the kitchen." I lightly joke and smile as I listen to Kate laugh and walk off to her room.

Alone in the kitchen area of our apartment, I run my fingers along the sides of the envelope. I am not even going to question how Christian or Taylor or Sawyer or whoever is on my former fiancé's books, got this envelope inside the apartment. I toss it aside and concentrate on drinking my tea. At least, I attempt to. I clutch the envelope once more. I want to know what game Christian is playing.

* * *

 _A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Review if you wish._

 _Also many thanks to MrsCTGrey who beta'ed this._


	4. Moving on or out?

**Moving on or out?**

* * *

 **Ana's POV:**

I had almost forgotten how hard it is to wake up to an alarm. Regardless of the annoying ringing sound, I welcome it. Today is the first day of getting back to normal and it is about time I start moving on in my life. Okay true it's not how I wanted to progress, but with the economy the way it is, I don't have much of a choice. It's been ten weeks now since the date of my doomed wedding and two weeks since I saw Christian last at his apartment. Boy, I had never seen Christian in such a state; a horrible mixture of regret, self-loathing, alcohol and confusion. I pray one day he can accept that no matter what he has unconditional love from his parents. Grace contacted me last week and requested to meet me for lunch. I told her I would as soon as I got back from Montesano. I went to see my dad. One because I knew that some time away from Seattle would give me the motivation and head space to get what was left of my life in order. Second because it would provide some distance from Christian and avoid his invitation. At least, that is what I thought. Actually, I can't believe that I have woken up as well rested, from dealing with Ethan to my former lover's continuous actions and then, of course, Leila...

* * *

 _ **Two weeks ago**_

 _Monday:_

"I better go or I am going to be late. Thank you, ladies, for breakfast, and Ana thank you for cooking dinner last night." Elliot smiles getting off his breakfast stool. He stayed at our apartment all day yesterday after waking up late from being at his parents' house comforting them over Christian confessions. I am sure that Elliot wanted to talk to me about myself and Christian, but refrained. The only time we spoke about Christian was in the context of his physical state the night before. He didn't even say anything when a dozen beautiful roses were delivered. No one needed to ask. Not Kate, Elliot or Ethan. It was obvious they were from Christian.

"Elliot wait! I will walk you out" Kate practically jumping off her chair. Thank goodness, it will give me a few minutes reprieve to eat my breakfast without a front row seat to their love fest. Okay.. It isn't precisely a love fest but I know what each look and subtle touch mean. I swear Christian and I were never this infuriating? No, we were probably worse.. at least in private... poor Taylor must have wanted to throw cold water over us countless of times.

"Have the two love birds flown away for the day?" Ethan asks entering the kitchen. I don't make eye contact. I need to distance myself from him and ensure I don't to send the wrong message.

"Elliot has, but Kate will be back in a few minutes."

"I have never seen my sister like this." I nod politely but focus on pretending to read the newspaper article. "But it's nice isn't it? I mean regardless of how much it makes everyone around you sick... love; It's pretty special." Ethan stops talking when we both hear the door slam. I have never been so grateful for such a loud noise.

"Damn, I didn't realise how late it was," Kate calls out reentering the apartment. She rushes into her bedroom and comes out with her hairbrush in one hand and her bag in the other. "I have my phone, laptop... umm.. coffee.. I will take one with me". I feel a little guilty giggling at Kate being so flustered but it reminds me that even she isn't perfect.

"Okay, I better go. I will see you both tonight... oh before I forget Elliot has tickets for some new club on Thursday night. Do you both want to join us?"

"No thanks" I reply and then hold my hand up to prevent her from trying to coerce me to change my mind.

"I have classes all day on Thursday and papers to complete. I can't." Ethan replies.

"Oh well... suit yourselves."

I say goodbye to Kate and then Ethan, who leaves soon after, for college, then grab my Ipad and open up the British literature application. It is the one and only item I allowed myself to keep from Christian. While I ought to have returned it, I am glad I didn't. It has allowed me to get lost in the pages of all my old favourite books anytime and anyplace I have wished. I had just got comfortable on the couch when the doorbell rings. I sigh when voice announces that it is delivery. I smile politely at the delivery boy. He came here yesterday with a dozen red roses. Today there are two dozen red roses. I bet this the start of a pattern. One dozen yesterday, two today, then three onwards. I wonder when Christian Grey will give up? I would throw them out but they are too beautiful.

"Thank you," I reply. Being rude to a stranger wouldn't help anything; however, I sigh with each step I take back to the apartment. Interestingly the card that goes with these flowers isn't in an envelope. A deliberate act to increase the chances of me reading what he has written.

 _Anastasia,_

 _Call me, email me, come and see me. Please_

 _Love you, Christian_

 _ **Wednesday:**_

I was wrong on Monday. Christian wasn't adding another dozen roses to my daily deliveries. Yesterday four dozen arrive and today eight came. He was doubling the number of flowers each day. We had 180 roses in the apartment. They were everywhere. Damn this means that sixteen dozen roses could arrive.

Today the card is concealed inside the envelope. Thought the words 'open and read me' are written in Christians perfect handwriting.

 _Call me. Email me. See me. Anything._

I groan loudly, but I know that it must be the only way to stop our apartment becoming a flower garden.

* * *

To: Christian Grey

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: The destruction of the Earth's flora

Christian,

Please cease to transfer every rose on the western coast of America to my apartment.

Sincerely,

Anastasia Steele

* * *

To: Anastasia Steele

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Preservation over Annihilation

Dearest Anastasia,

Since we are aiming to preserve, then may this generous act be extended to our relationship. How about dinner?

I love you,

Christian Grey

Anxious and missing you terribly, CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings

* * *

To: Christian Grey

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Mother Nature Only

No to dinner. Just stop with the flowers.

Sincerely,

Anastasia Steele

* * *

To: Anastasia Steele

From: Christian Grey

Subject: My Pledge

Dearest Anastasia,

I will stop with the flowers, but I am still fighting for you! I miss you.

Sincerely,

Christian Grey

Still fighting for you; Still madly in love and desperately missing you, CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings.

* * *

 _ **Thursday:**_

Christian kept his promise. He stopped sending me flowers. Instead, the next day a large box arrived. I wouldn't have opened it, except my curiosity got the best of me. The box was so light while so big. At least, I knew that Christian Grey wasn't inside. Upon opening the box, a stream of balloons popped out. Pale pinks and silver. Each helium it tries with ribbon with a little note attached. I open several expecting them to state the standard messages of, 'I am sorry'; 'I love you'; 'Call me'; let me give you more'; 'You are my more,' etc. Rather, they all had quotes from one of my favourite English authors, Thomas Hardy. All of the quotes related to forgiveness, love and moving forwards.

" _Don't think of what's passed!" said she. "I am not going to think outside of now. Why should we! Who knows what tomorrow has in store? "_

" _Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."_

I know Christian wrote these himself. It is in his notable script. I considered what to do with these balloons. They were large enough that the notes didn't weigh them down. I couldn't keep them in the main room. It would only cause Kate to finally question me about my feelings. Also, I didn't I want the balloons to make the apartment look like a hospital gift store. So I grabbed as many as I could and let them go out of the window until none was left. I notice Sawyer on the path. He is never far away. Sawyer was looking up at the balloons which are floating above and is talking on his cell phone. Probably to Taylor, but it's none of my concern.

# # # #

"You still reading Ana?" I look up, and frown. Ethan is home but it's only half past five. He wasn't supposed to be back till late tonight. Well, at least, that is what he said on Monday when Kate invited us out.

"Yes," I reply casually. Careful not to give him any sort of indication or false belief that I am interesting in him. I am more than aware of his feelings but I can't and won't reciprocate.

"One of my classes got cancelled and I remembered you said that you didn't want to go out with Kate tonight. So when I got some Chinese takeout for me, I got your favourite, Sesame Chicken. I though that you probably wouldn't have eaten and not made plans. Therefore, I thought we could eat together."

"Thank you, but I am not hungry," I respond. I hear Ethan groan.

"Sure you are and if you're not going to come to the table, then I will just have to come to you." I watched stunned as Ethan grabs the bag of food, a couple of glasses of wine and sits right next to me on the couch.

"Ethan.. we need to talk" Okay time to do this. Set him straight.

"We can talk while we eat." Ethan passes me the chicken and some chopsticks and commences to eat. I take a double take. He is bossy and so unlike his usual demeanour.

"Ethan I am not interested in you. I mean not beyond our friendship."

"Is that so?" Ethan's voice is cold, and there is something I just can't put my finger on.

"Yes"

"You kissed me. Remember?" I shake my head at myself. I did kiss him during my short-lived I _'I hate what you did to me Grey and now I will piss you off by acting reckless'_ period.

"That was wrong. I was acting stupidly and immature. I admit that. It's an error I won't repeat" I start to stand up, but Ethan grabs my hand forcing me to remain sitting.

"Sit and eat."

"What is wrong with you?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes, you do. You are acting like..." It finally hits me. Ethan is acting like Christian... at least like when I met Christian.

"Like what?" Ethan probes.

"Controlling." Something stops me from actually naming Christian even though it is evident.

"I figured it was your new preference." Okay, time to get down to the nitty-gritty. This is growing old quickly.

"Why did you withhold the photo until the day I was supposed to get married? What were you trying to achieve?"

"You know why Ana" I can't believe that this is Ethan in front of me, saying these words. Acting the way he is. Even without him saying the phrase I know why he didn't show me the photo.

"I hate that you did that to me."

"I wasn't the man with another girl. If we were together, I wouldn't even so much as look at another woman."

"But we aren't together nor will we be... Christian fucked up and made a mistake. A huge one, but a mistake!"

"Mistake? My God, are you really that naive? Seriously, this is why I didn't give you the photo earlier. Knowing you, you would have forgiven him in time to be married as scheduled. Ana, you are supposed to be intelligent. Which apparently you're not because if you were you wouldn't..." I walk towards Ethan, ensuring I don't show any emotion, and fueled over his words, I raise my hand and slap him. Ethan, however, looks unaffected. Before I can react, he places his hands on either side of my face and kisses me hard. I pull against him, horrified that he just acted in such a manner.

"Ana.. just come to your senses."

"I am."

"Good. Thank you. Then let's eat."

"No.. I have come to my senses. I am moving out. Away from you."

"No, Ana. Don't!" Ethan and I turn towards the door. Both of us recognizing the familiar voice. "Do not even think about moving out."

"Kate." She raises her eyebrows at Ethan and doesn't look at all impressed.

"Apparently big brother... and Ana I want you to stay. This is your home as much as it is mine." Kate declares in her familiar take-charge voice. If the circumstances were different, I would be excited. Kate has been too meek towards me for too long, starting from the day after my failed wedding.

"No, it should be me to move out. It was both your parents that bought this apartment." I refute. It's the right thing to do. Ethan is her brother after all.

"Correction, my parents bought this place for me. It was a graduation gift for me. My name is on the deed and only mine. I get to decide who lives with me, besides our parents probably love you, Ana, as much as they do us myself or Ethan." Kate smiles at me before looking at her brother sternly. "Ethan you need to move out. Grab some of your stuff. Elliot and I will drop you off at a hotel or at our parents or one of your friend's places. You can come back tomorrow and collect the rest of your things."

Ethan looks impassive as he turns and storms into his room. Or at least, what was his old room.

"Kate, please. I can go."

"No. I want you here! I heard what my brother did."

"Oh .. sorry."

"I am the one who should be sorry. He shouldn't have withheld the photo."

"Do you think that I would have forgiven Christian and married him if Ethan had acted differently?" I ask Kate, praying her sharp journalistic skills are able to appraise the end result.

"Honestly, I am not one hundred percent sure. The relationship you have or had with Christian was different to any I have ever seen.. ever." I nod, understanding what Kate means. "Though at the end of the day, I do believe that you and Christian would have married eventually. You are both so different while so perfect for each other!"

"It would have been easier if you told me that us being apart was the best thing for me" I reply, hoping that I sound humorous. I fail.

"Have you decided what you are going to do? Work wise and Christian-wise?"

"I need to go back to work, either SIP or another publishing house if possible. I can't hang around at home all day. When it comes to Christian, well it is never easy. I still need time."

"I guess then _OUR_ apartment is to resemble the world floral expo then.." Kate jokes briefly before looking at me sympathetic. "Elliot and I saw Christian yesterday. He misses you. Christian has those pictures of you in his office and supposedly he stares at them continually."

"He should have them taken down then."

"He probably hasn't for the same reason that you haven't opened that envelope he had delivered last Sunday, and why you still have the photo of you both In your room." Before I can reply or Kate can comment further. Ethan walks out of his room with a rather full duffle bag.

"I will collect the rest of my things tomorrow," Ethan announces. He is emotionless and not looking at either of us as he storms out of the apartment.

"Ethan is your brother. I don't want to be the source of conflict between you and him."

"My brother shouldn't have played mind games. He is studying psychology for Christ sake. Besides, he is the one that needs to apologize." I shrug not at all convinced "Look I need to drive Ethan to where ever he wants. Why don't we come back and pick you up or meet us for dinner?"

"No Kate. Thank you.. for everything. But I want to just stay here."

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, but I will cancel my weekend away with Elliot then."

"No, you can't" I reply too quickly. Kate glares at me as if I am out of my mind. I can't have her cancel! This is the weekend that Elliot proposes. "Look, Kate, I don't want you changing your plans or life any more than you already have for me."

"Alright Steele, but you owe me a big night out."

"Will do."

 **Friday**

I was drinking my ritualistic morning tea when I realized that my now standard delivery from Christian hadn't arrived. I knew it wouldn't be flowers and I doubted that it would be a bunch of balloons. Christian would have been informed that I let yesterday's batch go. Maybe he has finally given up. No, Christian Grey never gives up unless he has lost interest or a better deal came along. A submissive maybe? My thoughts don't have long to wonder as the doorbell buzzes. I walk down the stairs and standing there is Sawyer. This is unusual. I know that Sawyer is never far away, but protocol dictates he remains discreet. He wouldn't be at the door unless … oh no has something happened to Christian or maybe one of the Grey family members?

"Morning Sawyer. Has something happened?"

"Good Morning Miss Steele. I have been asked to deliver this to you." I take a deep breath as relief overcomes me. I glance at the envelope and notice its is Christian's handwriting.

"What if I don't accept it?"

"It would make it things… difficult." I sigh interpreting Sawyer words and take it, knowing that if I refused it would just get him into trouble. Sawyer's job is probably a hundred times harder these days as it is. "Miss Steele, I am to ensure that you open the envelope."

"Are you serious?"

"I am afraid so."

"Did Christian tell you to come upstairs and check that I have opened it? Time how long I spend reading it?" Sawyer looks uncomfortable and fails to answer. "Seriously! Just because he is Christian Grey, master of his own universe, doesn't mean that he is the supreme ruler of ours. Fueled by anger, I call his cell phone.

 **Christian:** Ana. Good morning. It is wonderful to hear your voice.

 **Ana:** It was a good morning until I learned that you basically bullied Sawyer to ensure I opened a letter from you.

 **Christian:** I do not bully. I just tell my staff what I want them to do. It is what I pay them to do. It is the essence of an employer and employee relationship.

 **Ana:** Goodbye...

 **Christian:** Stop Ana.. did you read my letter?

 **Ana:** No.

 **Christian:** Well, since I doubt you are going to open it and I have you on the phone then let me just tell you what's written on it.

 **Ana:** I could hang up.

 **Christian:** If you wanted to you would have already hung up.

 **Ana:** Really?

 **Christian:** Yes!

Infuriated by Christian I hold my phone away from my face and disconnect the call.

"Sorry Sawyer but I think your boss is going to be displeased."

"Thank you for the heads up."

"How has he been? You know.. Is Christian alright generally?"

"Mr. Grey is missing you. He has become difficult to work with. More than usual. The security staff has started to debate on who will lose their hair first, Taylor or Grey." I giggle slightly then compose myself. Poor Taylor. He would probably resign if he didn't respect Christian so much.

"Understood."

As I walk up the stairs to the apartment, I ignore the persistent ringing of my cell phone. It finally stops, but I notice there is a text message.

 **If you are not to continue talking to me or answer your phone, then read the letter. Please. Love you, Christian**

I groan. I open the envelope, not because Christian requested it, but merely because I want to know what is written in it.

 _Dearest Anastasia,_

 _Since you didn't wish to have any more flowers and the balloons I sent you ended up decorating the Seattle skyline, I thought maybe a letter would have been more to your liking. I know how much you liked the written word._

 _I have it on good authority that you ate dinner alone last night, and since my brother and Kate are going away for the weekend, I thought you might like some company. I know how much you dislike eating alone, and I would rather you weren't alone. It increases your risk. I propose dinner. How about I pick you up for dinner at six? We have much to talk about. Particularly in regards to the contents of the manila envelope. If you have opened it then, you will have many questions that I can answer._

 _If I don't hear from you, I will accept your silence as acceptance of my dinner invitation._

 _I love you and miss you terribly. Do you still love me?_

 _Christian Grey_

I consider emailing him, but the letter gives me an idea. If Christian doesn't like me being alone, then I will put his fears to rest. I pack several pieces of clothing and essentials while setting about the impossible task of avoiding Sawyer. He has been positioned at the front of the apartment but no matter which exit I take, he is close by. I am not reporting to him like I once was, so I didn't understand how he always knew when I was moving. When I grabbed my purse and phone, I realized how Sawyer was keeping tabs on me. Why did it take me so long to work out? They were tracking my cell phone. I unlocked my iPhone and there in plain sight was the application that would be able to trace all my movements in real time. I decided that there was only one option. I would leave my smartphone at home. I have spent quite a lot of time here so my not going out wouldn't raise suspicion. I did take my laptop with me. As much as I hated it, I would probably need to email Christian Grey and ensure he doesn't fire Sawyer or anything. Actually, no I will email Taylor, and only if needed. I go downstairs and when I am sure that Sawyer isn't looking I head through the back exit and then quickly walk down the street, ensuring that I don't look conspicuous. I get on the first bus that takes me past my apartment building and feels a sudden rush when we go past Sawyer. Did I actually manage to evade security? Well that was a first. I don't stop until I reach the Seattle times, and manage to get hold of Kate. At first, she was a little reluctant, but she allowed me to borrow her car. Her hesitation was directed at her concern for me over her car. I reassured Kate that I wasn't running and would be back soon.

I head south, until I hit the 1-5, and decide to just enjoy the drive. I wish now that I had been able to bring my phone with me. I could have but I need space from Christian and I have to admit that even the thought of him going to the apartment to pick me up for dinner and finding me gone and with no idea of where I was, didn't pain me. Maybe it is a little childish of me, but I hate that I still love him so much and that everyone thinks they know how I should run my life. I pull into my father's driveway. I smile when I see his truck at the front. While my dad is going to be happy to see me, he doesn't like to be surprised and I know he will worry about my impromptu visit.

It is strange being here now. I feel so at home and also a stranger. It's the same feeling that I get at Escala, although less so at Kate's apartment. The reality is I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I smile as I watch my father work on a cabinet he is building. I watch as he carefully carves the wood and double checks for any flaws. This is his talent. I wait till he finally raises his head and see me. Just like when I was a child and came home from school or from being out, my father stops and greets me.

"Annie. You didn't say you were coming to down!"

"I thought I would visit for a couple of days. If that's okay?"

"Of course, it is. Give me several minutes to finish this and I will be inside for a cup of tea."

# # # #

At precisely three minutes past six, my email pings.

* * *

To: Anastasia Steele

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Not a game.

Anastasia,

I am aware that I once told you that I enjoyed playing the game _'where in the world is Carmen San Diego_ ' in early elementary school though I do not wish to live out of a real life. You can imagine my fear when I arrived to take you to dinner to find you missing and Sawyer is unaware the you left the apartment today. It wasn't until Kate informed me that you borrowed her car, that my blood pressure dropped enough to prevent me having a heart attack. However, you failed to divulge exactly where you were going even to your best friend. Where are you? We were supposed to meet for dinner.

You left your cell phone. Do you know how dangerous it is to leave without a means to be contactable, traceable or alert the authorities in the event of an emergency?

I have Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan, Welch and Barney seeking you out! Anastasia, email or contact me. Tell me where you are and I can come and get you. Do not worry about Kate's car. I will have it returned to Seattle. Please, Ana. I am dying a thousand deaths here.

I love you.

Christian Grey

Worried and anxious, CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings

* * *

Three minutes... efficient and very Christian Grey. He learned I was gone, spoke to Kate, found my cell phone and wrote me that email all in a matter of minutes.

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

To: Christian Grey

Subject: I never played computer games

Christian,

I am a not a child nor am I in any danger. I just decided to go away for the weekend. You can call off your task force. It isn't needed or wanted.

Do enjoy your dinner. I know I will enjoy mine. I better go and eat it.. my dinner is ready cooked and I don't want to keep him waiting.

Ana.

* * *

Okay so it's pretty cruel to torture Christian by not being clear about whom I was having dinner with, but I can't help it. I still feel pain when I think about him with Leila. Not long ago I went to see Flynn and I asked him why Christian did it; why he felt, he was only looking after me by acting in such a manner. Flynn said, that since Christian didn't have time to think the situation through, he acted irrationally. Forcing Leila to be submissive was the only way Christian knew to keep me safe from her since she was so erratic. He had never accepted unconditional love until he met me and valued it so much that he had to do whatever he needed to protect me. Even if it was wrong. I have been thinking about this for a long time.

After cleaning up from having dinner with my father, I sought the peace from the comfort of the old wooden rocking chair on the porch. My dad had made it years ago and it was my favorite place to read as a child growing up. I don't know how many hours I have spent in this one spot. Just like so many other times, I allowed myself to become completely lost at the moment. I almost even didn't realize that a car had pulled up to the house. Almost that is. Its pretty damn hard to ignore an R8 Audi Spyder. I focus on my book, ignoring Christian as he got out of his car.

"Good Evening Anastasia"

"Christian… are you lost? You are a good distance away from Seattle."

"If I said I was, would you come with me and direct me home?"

"Clever."

"Ana.. can we talk?"

"The definition of talking is an act of engaging in speech.. we are both already doing so," I reply not looking up from my book. "We have already done so, just now."

"Actually, I prefer the word talk regarding an adjective, in terms to speak to give information or express ideas or feelings; converse or communicate by spoken words. " As a lover of words and their expression, I am once more impressed by Christian.

"Christian we have talked. I don't feel that there is anything else to say to each other."

"You are right. Then the only thing left is for us to accept what we have said to each other and progress." I cock my head to the side, shocked that Christian just stated that we are finally over. At least, that is what I thought he meant. "I still love you and you have told me that you still love me, right?"

"Yes. " I wanted to explain my point further but Christian interrupted me.

"No buts. Let's start again if you want to. I don't want you falling into my office again and taking the risk of you hurting yourself, but I cannot keep going without hope that you will be mine again."

"I am tired. Good night Christian."

# # # #

I sleep in late the next day. I think exhaustion finally took over. It may seem strange, but wake up to the calming sounds of my father's tools. I heard this sound almost every day growing up. I decide to take a cup of hot tea to my dad but almost drop it when I see he isn't alone. _What the hell!_

"Morning Annie." My father takes the cup and kisses my cheek.

"Good morning dad. I didn't know you would have company."

"Good Morning Anastasia." Christian looks so down to earth in a flannel shirt. I didn't even know he owned one. Christian moves towards me to kiss me, but I move my face away, avoiding him entirely.

"What are you two doing?" What I am actually asking is, why is Christian Grey with my father, apparently working on one of my dad's jobs. My former lover is moving around the workshop as if he grew up here. I will never understand how he manages to be so competent, always.

"Your father offered to let me stay here last night and I wanted to thank him for helping him out this morning. Ray, is this tool you wanted?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

I stand there immobile. My father doesn't know the real reason why I never married Christian and I never intend on telling him. I think Ray has assumed that I got cold feet or something. I watch as they both focus on their task. It is almost as if I am living in a different dimension.

"Dad, if you could excuse Christian and me for a minute, I would just like a word with him." Christian walks towards me, smiling and even places his hand on my back as we walk away. I reach back and remove his arm. When we are a decent distance from the workshop, I turn sharply to face Christian.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Helping your father and fighting for you!" Christian replies impassioned, placing both his hands on my arms.

"It won't help! The issue of you and Leila will still exist. The intimacy you experienced.."

"It wasn't like that. Not for me. It was about ensuring that Leila wouldn't hurt you. She wanted to kill you. I couldn't allow that to happen!" I shake my head in disbelief, but an idea pops into my head.

"Okay. But I need proof. I want to talk to Leila, alone". Christian narrows his eyes but then agrees.

"When do you want to go?"

"Now.. today."

* * *

 _ **A/N: In the next chapter I will finish explaining what happened in during these two weeks. (I have only discussed the first week) I am looking forward to the Leila and Ana encounter and Ana's reaction to the contents of the manila envelope. I also want to thank you for your kind words at the passing of a special little girl in my families lives. I know angels exist now as we have our own. Thank you for reading.**_


	5. When West and East Collide

A/N: yes it's been so many weeks since I last updated, but my health took a downturn and it needs to be addressed. I am not unwell but if I don't do something now, I will be. I hope this long chapter satisfies you.

* * *

 **When West and East Collide.**

* * *

 **Ana's POV:**

" _Helping your father and fighting for you!" Christian replies impassioned, placing both his hands on my arms._

" _It won't help! The issue of you and Leila will still exist. The intimacy you experienced..."_

" _It wasn't like that. Not for me. It was about ensuring that Leila wouldn't hurt you. She wanted to kill you. I couldn't allow that to happen!" I shake my head in disbelief, but an idea pops into my head._

" _Okay. But I need proof. I want to talk to Leila, alone". Christian narrows his eyes but then agrees._

" _When do you want to go?"_

" _Now. Today."_

"Okay, but you will need to pack your bag," Christian advises. I was about to question him why when he pulls out his cell phone. I eye him off curiously, listening carefully. "Taylor, get a hold of Stephan. Tell him we need the jet ready to fly to Connecticut, in..." Christian stops talking to Taylor and looks at me. _Connecticut?_

"How long do you need to pack some clothes?"

"Give me ten minutes" I reply. I reason only to pack a couple of pieces of clothes and toiletries in a backpack.

"Tell Stephan that we will be ready in two hours" _What? We?_

"I said that I wanted to talk to Leila alone." I restate.

"And I agreed. You will be able to speak to Leila on your own. Though Security will be watching closely."

"Great then you can stay here."

"Anastasia if you think for a second that I am going to let you fly to the other side of the country alone to see the person who wanted to kill you. Forget it. I am coming with you."

"You two okay there?" Ray asks, looking worried. The last thing I want to do is worry him.

"Fine dad."

# # # #

"I would rather drive to SEA-TAC" I declare. I reach into my bag to collect my cars keys but I can't find them. "Damn, I can't find my keys. Have you taken them?"

"No. But I do have your spare set at Escala. I will tell Ryan to bring them down when he comes to collect your car. Now please get in the car Ana or if you so desperately want to drive then you can drive my car. It's your choice but we are leaving together, no matter what." I roll my eyes and groan loudly, as I get into the car. I decide not to drive. It won't help.

"You know I once told you that I would spank you each time you rolled your eyes at me."

"You don't have the paperwork, Mr Grey" I respond, and as if the whole world has turned. I laugh at my comment. Not a high-strung or stressed laugh, but one of humour. Christian smiles at me, his billion dollars – panty dropping smile, before laughing freely.

"I miss your smart mouth" There is a moment here, that our old and familiar electric charge circulates between us. It isn't until we lock eyes on each other that we recall why we are in this predicament.

"We ought to get going. Stephan will be waiting." Christian nods and pulls out of my father's driveway onto the WA-8 E.

The car ride is quiet until we are only about half an hour to the airport. Christians phone rings. I reach down to grab it out of my bag and show him that it's Taylor.

"I ought to answer that" I agree and connect it to his speaker.

"Grey"

"Sir, the Stephan is ready to take off once you and Miss Steele are on board. He said that the winds are against us. It is likely that we won't arrive until eight o'clock tonight, Eastern Time."

"Understood, hold for a moment" Christian without even looking successfully put his cell phone on mute.

"Ana, by the time we land, get to our hire car..."

"Christian, I know you are going to say that it will be late; however, I need to talk to Leila as quick as possible. If it can't be done tonight, then tomorrow morning, but I need to solve this. I am hurting so much still. I can't keep going like this!" Christian expression changes to anguished when I tell him how much I am still at pains.

"Okay," Christian then reaches over to his phone and un-mutes it.

"Taylor, we will be seeing Miss Williams tonight."

"Would you like me to contact her for you?"

"No. We will do that. Book hotels rooms. Suites. One for Ana, one for myself, one for you and Sawyer and one more for Stephan and his second."

"Yes, Sir" Christian then disconnects the call and passes the cell phone back to me.

"You will need to contact Leila. Send her an email from my account. If you tell Leila that I want to see her, then she will probably agree." I nod. "I don't have her details anymore in my address book. I deleted it after our doom-sub relationship ended. I received an emailed report from her therapist, last week, saying where she was living. It had her email address and her phone number to the house. You can look at. The doctors' name is Dr Jonathon Fern. Text if you prefer, but I usually only ever emailed."

I open the email after scrolling through Christian too many emails. How does he manage to do any work with all these constant emails? "I will email her when we land or are close by."

"It's your call, Ana."

# # # #

The plane ride was long. Christian and I didn't talk much even though we were often nearby. Though, we didn't argue. I didn't push him further away, nor did he spend the whole time apologising and asking for me to return to him. I am thankful for small miracles. I am tired of the word ' _sorry_.' I pulled out my iPad and began reading the classic, 'Mary Barton'. It's not a favourite of mine. I have always considered the book somewhat tragic but reading anything else, before confronting Leila would feel wrong.

"Ana... we are about to land. You need to get buckled in." I slowly open my eyes and it takes several minutes to realise where and why I am with Christian. Most of all, _why I am in bed_? I look around confused then raise the sheet. Last time I unexpectedly woke up in bed with Christian Grey standing in front of me, I was wearing one of his t-shirts and naked. This time, at least I still have my clothes on. Christian's mouth curls into a smile as he interprets my thoughts and actions. "You fast feel asleep in the cabin and I thought you would be more comfortable in bed. I picked you up and brought you here."

"Thank you. I guess." I reply. My voice gradually getting lower.

"No, trust me the pleasure was all mine. It was easier than the first time I put you in bed" Christian grin stifling his laugh. "You have lost weight again."

"Christian. Please, it's none of your business. I..."

"Don't say that Ana. No matter what you will always be my concern. I can't let you go just like that. Even if you never come back to me, I still want to care for you. Also, I meant to ask you, have you opened the manila envelope yet?"

"No"

"You need to. Please open it!"

"It's not a priority for me."

"Make it a priority." Christian's soft and pleading tone disappear's suddenly and I feel like I am being ordered. Nice to know that Mr Mercurial still isn't far away. I refuse to react or reply. Instead, I head out to the cabin and take a seat, buckling myself in. I can hear Christian's footsteps, even though they are softened by the carpeting. I was expecting him to take the seat next to me; rather he selects the chair on the opposite side. I tilt my head to the side slightly, surprised by his choice.

"Are you both ready to eat?" Natalia asks. I turn my head back, not having known she was on board.

"Yes, we are." Christian responds. Natalia presses a couple of buttons and from the side slips out a table.

"I'm not hungry" I assert.

"Anastasia you have hardly eaten all day, and you're fading away in front of me. You will eat!"

"Is that so?" I challenge. Christian and I glare at each other, neither of us looking away. It is a silent battle. Natalia places two plates of food down and drinks. I don't even know what we were just served, though it smells incredible. My stomach starts to grumble as my appetite awakens. Why does my body betray me, especially around Christian?

"Anastasia, you have a couple of choices. You can either act like an adult and eat. Then maybe if we are even more grown-up, engage in conversation. The second is the childish option, where you pout and refuse to eat even though you are hungry. If you chose the option, then I will either force feed you."

"And there I was thinking you were going to threaten to put me over your knee and spank me if I refused to eat," I reply dryly. Christian's lips curl up into a smile. There was a time where only he could read my body movements but now I can interpret his actions just as well. "I was sarcastic."

"I know but I was willing to ignore your manner since it came with such an enticing proposal. I accept your substitution of me force feeding with warming your backside. Now, Ana you have two choices, which one do you wish to take?"

"Nice to know I still have options."

"Oh, Ana... that smart mouth of yours. What I would love to do to with it, though right now I would be satisfied to see your food go into it." I stare at Christian. My lips pressed together.

"Ana, please eat! I hate myself for what I have done to you. The thought of you suffering even further and not eating is killing me more. Please, Ana, eat." Christians' voice is so docile that I strain to hear it. Pain. He isn't just mercurial... he is being... _Shit_ , I don't know what to call it. My hunger beats my stubbornness. Of course, it's delicious. Salmon with steamed vegetables and a delicious red wine to accompany it.

"It's good to see you eat."

"How is work?" My question apparently shocks Christian. It takes me by surprise also.

"You want to hear about my work?" Christian inquires, strangely humoured.

"It feels extremely uncomfortable sitting here opposite you, seating dinner and pretending that you aren't present. We were almost married, and since we were able to have a normal conversation, we should still be able to do so, again." Christian cocks his head to the side. I know he is trying to determine the reason behind my statement. "When my parents broke up, they couldn't talk to each other for a long time. I never understood how people who use to love each other, couldn't at least be civil to each other. I comprehend their reasons, somewhat now but I still dislike it. As a child I decided if this ever happened to me then I would at least try to talk to the other person... yes it's taken me weeks to get to this point, but I am here now." I don't admit it but Christian allowing and helping me to see Leila has pushed me to the point.

"So Mr Grey, what acquisition or new technology are you working on?" Christian glows and commences to talk about the new development in his solar-powered communication equipment, his new takeover bid of some manufacturing sector and how the Grey Enterprise Charitable Foundation is taking shape.

"It sounds like you have been very busy being the master of the universe. Congratulations on your achievements."

"Yes though my number one objective still alludes me." I don't know why but I fail to put one and one together.

"What objective is that?"

"To get the woman I love back. Ana, please come back. "

"Christian. " I shake my head but just as I interrupted him, he depreciates.

"I should have asked, at least not before you see Leila. As soon as we land, email her from my phone. She will think it is from me and will be where ever you want to see her."

# # # #

I doubt that Sawyer has stayed so close to me before, as I walk through the gate of a suburban home. There aren't any lights on in the house. Either Leila is alone or everyone is in the house is asleep. Plausible since it is already ten in the evening. There sitting on the bench in a single figure, as I instructed. Of course, Leila followed orders to the final dot. She would have thought it was Christian. I walk towards her. She is aware someone is approaching her though she still thinks it is Christian. Her head and eyes are bowed down. Leila really has this submissive look mastered.

"Leila" I call her name. She raises her head slowly. Surprised, shocked and more apparently disappointed that it is me in front of her and not Christian.

"Ana?"

"Yep. That is me!"

"But master..."

"Leila... his name is Christian Grey. He isn't your Master anymore... he hasn't for years. In fact after your contract with Grey ended, he took on anther submissive. Then he had a non-BDSM relationship with me. Your relationship with Christian Grey is over. And it's time for you to learn to use his name" Leila looks stunned and resumes her submissive stance.

"The email received was from his cell phone. He never lets anyone look at it. It was for his eyes only." _He_. At least she isn't calling Christian, 'Master' or 'Sir'.

"Christian gave me his phone. Told me to use it to contact you once we landed."

"We? So he is here?" Leila looks around meekly. Praying to see Christian but still maintain the submissive look.

"Christian is at the front. He didn't want to see you. It was me who wanted to see you not Christian."

"You're the one person I didn't expect to ever see. Or at least request to see me" Leila responds. She looks far more stable than the last time I saw her but she is still off.

"I have questions I wanted to ask you."

"Yes, I gathered that..." Leila then looks away from me. Her question is directed at Sawyer. "I would like to see Sir. Can you ask him to see me? I know you work for him. Tell him I am here." Does she seriously think I am keeping Christian away from her?

"Mr Grey made it clear that he has no interest in seeing or conversing with you. He only came here at the request of Miss Steele." Sawyer's voice is so damn precise and controlled that Leila slumps her shoulders and looks. Leila looks resigned.

"He is never going to come back to me."

"As I said, I have questions to ask you. I need you to be honest with me."

"Ask. I will answer." Leila responds. Her voice is soft. She seems so lost.

"Were you going to kill me?"

"At first. No. I wanted to scare you away and then hopefullyMmaster would come back to me. I had been able to please him in the past and though I could do the same. I thought that since he had given you more, then he could realise that he could give someone else more. That I could be the person." Leila then stops. Water wells up in her eyes and she takes deep breaths.

"The night in the apartment, when Christian wouldn't be with me... I threatened to kill you again. I was ready to in fact. I didn't care. I lost him. If he weren't going to have me, then I would take you away from him. I played him in a way. I wanted him to treat me as his sub so he would remember how good it felt. The more he reacted, the more I threatened to hurt you. But I knew he wasn't in the slightest interested in me." I look down at the ground and contemplate everything Leila has said. "Are you with, in a relationship, that blonde haired boy that came and saw me at the hospital?"

"No."

"When he came and saw me I was hoping that you both would get together. Free up Christian. Maybe he would come back to me to take revenge on you. Then I would remind him how good it was, but no matter how often I tried to reach out he never reciprocated me. I hoped maybe... when I got the email today, from his email. I thought... maybe. But it isn't to be."

"Leila, for you sake, forget Christian. Even if I never go back to him, he will never want to be with you." I don't say this to be cruel, rather honest. She can't be that Ghost girl for the remainder of her life.

"That is what my psychiatrist tells me."

"Good Advice. Goodbye, Leila."

"Ana... If I promise to stay away from you and Mast... I mean Mr Grey; would you give him a message for me?" Oh, I never expected a negotiation.

"Yes." I don't know if I will, but if I don't at least appear to agree I doubt she would tell me whatever message she has to say.

"Tell him, I love him and I am sorry I displeased him." I nod my head though feel uncomfortable doing so. "Before you go there is something you should .. I mean Mr Grey was scared. I had never seen like that. He was so afraid that I was going to hurt you. He loves you, more than I have ever seen anyone love another person ever." I don't say anything in response. I don't know what to say.

I walk away and head to the car where Christian is standing, leaning against the door impatiently. Poor Taylor. I think he had the worst job tonight. All Sawyer had to do was ensure that I was safe while a sat near the woman who wanted to shoot me dead. That was nothing compared to Taylor's ordeal. Poor man having to keep Mr Mercurial calm and prevent him from storming into the back yard of Leila's home and doing god knows what.

Christian breathes out loudly in relief. He walks towards me. Swiftly. When we are within arms distance of each other, Christian places his hands on my arms. Stilling me. I think he wanted to wrap his arms around me and then kiss me.

"I am good," I confirm. My words thankfully calm him further.

"Did you find out what you needed?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Anastasia, what did Leila say to you? Are you ready to come back home? To me."

"Can we go to the hotel?"

"We need to talk!"

"Not here."

"Okay. Fine. Yes. I don't want to be here any longer also." Christian opens the car door for me and then walks around, sitting next to me." I feel tense. Now I have to start making decisions.

* * *

 **Christian's POV:**

"We could just head off home. I could contract another pilot or we can go to another hotel." I offer. This hotel has admitted to making a booking error. We requested that four suite style rooms be reserved. A new employee has messed up royally. Only three suites are booked and the hotel is booked out solid. I have argued, tried to bribe them and even threatened to buy them out but little can be done now. They have offered us discounts, free meals but not another room. I can't ask Stephan to fly us back right now. But after abruptly ordering him to prepare the plane and fly us over to the other side of the country, he is too tired and that would be putting us all at risk.

"No, that will be too hard and there is no way you would feel comfortable with someone you haven't screened thoroughly, drug tested and whatever else you do to fly the jet. Another hotel would be preferable but it's late" Ana sigh and then focuses on the lady on the counter. "How many bedrooms does each suite have?"

"Both have two separate bedrooms." Ana and I look at each other.

"Christian let's stay here. There are six of us. We have three suites so there are four bedrooms." I have to stifle my broad smile. It might be separate rooms but it's the closest I slept with Ana in months.

"Agreed. "

"I guess I can't convince you to share a suite with Taylor and I share one with Sawyer while Stephan and his second pilot take the other are separate rooms after all," I narrow my eye and thin my lips immediately at Ana's suggestion. There is no way I am going to allow Ana to share a suite with a man that isn't me, even if they are on staff. Never!

"We need to talk remember. This will give us an opportunity." My dick reacts when Ana bites her lip. Fuck! Get it together Grey. Priorities. First, I need to get Ana to have another normal conversation with me.

Sawyer and Taylor ride up the elevator with us but as soon as the doors open they head off to their suite, which is next to us. I open the door to our suite and gesture for Ana to enter. It's actually quite stylish. Though what I wouldn't give for the other bedroom to be rendered unusable.

"Can I get you something to drink or eat?" I offer. Ana stands still for several moments contemplating whether to take me up on my offer. At first, she appears to be declining my offer but then drops her shoulders and smiles softly.

"A drink would be great. Something strong, but I want to have a shower first. I want to wash away... this visit to see Leila, Ethan... everything!" The thought runs through my mind, that if she wants to scrub all the unpleasantly of the past so many weeks then maybe she would be ready for us to resume.

"Gin and tonic?" I offer.

"Please," I stand there casually as Ana walks into her room, but start to move quickly afterwards. I call downstairs and order a strange combination of antipasto plate and a selection of mini desserts, two gin and tonics and a bottle of the White Château Labour Papilla. Ana prefers white wine in the evening and deserves to have the best that the hotel is able to provide. I quickly change, into a fresh white linen shirt, and some grey pants. Ana occasionally joked that it was my usual attire. I hoped that it would help remind her a better time.

Room service arrives just before Ana exits her room. She looks gorgeous, wearing a simple white shirt T-shirt and yoga pants.

"I thought maybe you might like something to eat while you have your drink. I didn't know if you would feel like something sweet or savoury so I decided to order both." I pass Ana her gin and tonic, and once she has taken a seat on the couch, I sit close to her. Joy and relief wash over me when she doesn't move away.

"I guess you want to talk. Right?" Ana asks softly.

"You did promise" Ana sighs and in one quick swoop drinks all her gin and tonic.

"That I did. You know it use to be me trying to get you to talk, not the opposite" Ana giggled at her statement, fuelled by her low tolerance for alcohol. I lean back and take in the sweet sound. "Can I have a glass of wine?"

"Eat something first." Ana doesn't argue nor hesitate. She happily takes some crackers and cheese. I pour her a glass of wine; though watch that she doesn't drink this one as quickly.

"Leila confirmed everything you said to me. She was going to kill me to get you back and how she manipulated your love for me, to get you to be dominant with her. Leila was hoping that you being with her would remind you of how much you liked it."

"She was wrong!" I state adamantly.

"I know... so does Leila. Now anyway." Ana takes another drink and looks solemn. "Before I left Leila she asked me to give you a message." I cock my head to the side and narrow my eyes. What does Leila want to say to me? I have made it loud and clear that I have no interest in talking to her. "Leila wanted you to know that she I love you and I is sorry she displeased you."

"Ana... you know that I have no feelings what so ever for Leila. You are the only one. She..."

"Christian I know. Leila also said that you were scared that time in the apartment. Seriously scared.

"Horrible memories of how scared I actually felt hit me. I was ready to kill if need be and it would have been worth it to keep Ana safe.

"No Christian. Don't worry Christian, She isn't a threat anymore. Leila can't hurt any of us" Ana must have felt what I did. She runs her hand over my cheek and then stops at my chest. I look at her hand pressed against me. Ana starts to remove it but I keep it in place and then take her hand and kiss it. I am about to speak when Ana gets in first.

"I am hungry."

"Distract me with you eating. Nice play Anastasia."

"We aim to please, and I don't want to sleep right now. Tell me how everyone is. I only ever see Elliot these days."

"Eat this then I will talk" I pass Ana a plate of food from what I ordered. Cheese, crackers, cold meats, olives and some nuts. As soon as she commences to eat, I start talking. I tell her about how Mia seems to be finally putting all her culinary training to good use and working at the Fairmont; how my parents are planning on a trip to Paris and their work on their charity 'Coping Together'.

"Seems like your family has been busy."

"They have. They miss you."

"I miss them too. It was incredible to be a part of their family for that time." _Was? It doesn't need to be._

"They still consider you part of the family. They miss you but it is nothing like how much I miss you! I love you, Ana."

"Ditto. But"

"No buts. Forget them. You have told me that you still love me and know how much I love you. You have spoken to Leila. I have explained everything. I am trying so hard here Ana. What else do I need to do? If you want me to beg, then I will forever. But please Ana, I need you to want this too. I need you to want us to be together again."

"Christian. I..." He senses my continued reluctance and ever the sharp CEO, steps in.

"Look we both have had a long day. You need to rest. Come to bed with me. Sleep next to me" I implore her.

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Okay, then we don't need to sleep. You can come to bed with me and we can do something else." I offer playfully. I know that this isn't what Ana meant but I have laid out all my cards out and it's time to play them.

"Are you starting to take advantage of my newly drunken state?" Ana playfully comments. I take a deep breath. Oh how I wish I could, but it wouldn't be right. I watch as she drinks the remains of her fourth glass. I have never seen her drink so quickly.

"Fuck Ana you have no idea of how much I want that. I want you, more than anything, but to take you to bed with me right now wouldn't be ethical. We both have had a rough day. Let me put you to bed.". I stand up and hold both my hands out. If past experience is anything to go by then, she will need the physical support. Ana willingly takes my hands and finds her feet. I walk her to the door of her room and stop outside.

"Sleep well Ana."

"You too Christian. Thank you again for bringing me here. You didn't have to. I mean you could have said no."

"I have pledged to fight for you. I don't care what I have to do. All I am concerned with is having you back. Ana, please. Let's end this pain. We both still love each other... don't you still love me?" Ana places her hand on my cheek and looks sympathetic but I know the look in her eyes.

"Oh, Christian you are so insecure..."

"Only because I love you so much. I don't think straight."

"Obviously, I found that out on our wedding day... sorry I shouldn't" I place my finger on her lips interrupting her again.

"Yes, you should. I was wrong. It isn't a mistake I would ever repeat again!"

"I know, but..."

"Enough with the _'but'_. I am considering contacting the Oxford dictionary and giving them massive amounts of money to have the word removed."

"Oh is that right Mr Master of the Universe? Then I should alert you to the fact that you would have to eliminate the phrase; however, although, yet, still, on the other hand, and so many other words with similar connotations."

"Gosh, I miss your smart mouth." I am so desperate to kiss her. My desperation is so raw and urgent. I want to kiss her so badly that I couldn't think about anything else. I placed my hand on her chin and leant down touching her sweet lips chastely. I haven't been able to touch or kiss her for what seems like an eternity. All my desperation, love and longing for Ana come out as I commence to passionately kiss her. I run my hands down her back, feeling her close to me. When our lips finally part, I try to look into Ana's eyes, but she is looking away. I tilt her chin, so she has to look up. Tears are building up in her eyes.

"Please don't cry, Ana. I love you so much."

"I know. I love you too. But that is what makes this so hard. "

"Oh Ana, it's only hard if we make it so... in fact it doesn't have to be hard at all," I smile softly at Ana. Let it go Ana. All of it. Fuck the past.

"You're right."

"Finally" I reply too quickly. It is only after I spoke that it hits me that Ana's voice was so softly and sad. I narrow my eyes. Tears are starting to build up, and run down her face. I wipe them away with my thumbs.

"Ana...why are..." She didn't allow me to finish my sentence. Payback I guess for interrupting her twice already this evening.

"I need to go to sleep. Goodnight." Ana walked off quickly. She is mercurial now. I slowly walk towards her room, hoping maybe that her door is open. Waiting for me. Though my wishful thinking is dashed. It's closed. Fuck! I need to know what is going on in her mind. I try to open the door. It never occurs to me to knock. I never have in the past. Not once. I turn the door handle but it doesn't shift. Ana's door is locked.

I arrive back in the hotel room after running through the streets of Hartford until I could no longer go on. The morning light has just begun to rise. I ought to be exhausted but I can't sleep. After Ana had locked her bedroom door, I needed a diversion, but I didn't want to leave the hotel suite. Even if this is as close as I was going to get to her, I was going to take it. Eventually, I managed to fall sleep though I woke up after a few hours. I checked Ana's door but it was still locked. I know she was still here. I could hear her talk in her sleep, though I couldn't make out what she is saying exactly.

I throw off my sweat drench shirt, as I open the hotel door. I intended to have a shower and bury myself in work until Ana woke up, where I then would order breakfast. She needs to continue eating! However, I find Ana standing in the middle of the sitting room, already dressed and packed. Actually, this isn't such a bad situation. I get to feed her earlier.

"Good Morning Ana. You look Beautiful" Truth be told she looks a little tired, but even so, Ana is still beautiful. "I didn't expect you to be awake so early. I will order breakfast for us and then shower." This way by the time it's delivered I can be dressed. No interruptions.

"No there is no need. I am not hungry." Oh please, not this again! Once more I am tempted to put Ana over my knee until she admits that she is hungry or at least is willing to eat.

"There is a need, and I want to." I pick up the hotel phone. I order coffee, tea, orange juice, an omelette for me but then lower the phone and look at Ana. "What would you like or should I order for you?" Ana scoffs, making a show of her annoyance, but at least walks to towards me and reads the menu.

"I will have the French toast and fruit salad if it gets you off my chest!" Off your chest? You have no idea how much I would like to be on your chest. I refrain from making a comment and place the remainder of our order through. " I am going to go and shower quickly. Breakfast shouldn't be too long, and then we can eat." I pull off my still damp shirt. I can tell that Ana is looking at me from the corner of her eyes. She seems impatient until she pulls out her iPod and commences to read. Fuck she is biting her lip. I need a cold shower.

I shower quickly. I want to be ready when room service is delivered, this way it will diminish the opportunity for Ana to eat while buried in whatever she is reading. I want to pick up where we left off last night. It was the closest we have gotten to talking about us getting back together. I smile as I exit my hotel room. Ana is sitting there looking her usual endearing self.

"You're reading Hardy, aren't you?" I don't even have to hear her answer to confirm this. Her lips are turned up slightly, and her eyes are serious but demonstrating how joyful she is at what she is reading. Her legs are crossed at her feet, and she is playing with her hair. All tell tale signs. "Either the novel "Far from the Madding Cored' or 'Tess of the d'Urbervilles.''

"Far from the Madding Crowd" Ana tries not to smile. It doesn't matter, though. She knows that I can read her body language better than herself. It is one of my specialities. The doorbell rings and in comes breakfast. I tip the waiter generously to leave quickly. I place our order on the table, ensuring we are close. By some grace, Ana puts her iPod down and joins me for breakfast. Maybe she finally realised that she is hungry.

"Your tea" I pass Ana the last remaining item on the tray, before sitting on the opposite side of her.

Ana commences eating. I can't help by to watch as she eats heartedly. "You're still a perve" I laugh slightly.

"I like to watch you eat. But yes I guess I still am... especially when it comes to you."

"I am hungry. Actually, the hungriest I have been in weeks. Thank you again, for bringing me here. It's been a relief off my shoulders, and for not listening to me when I said I didn't want anything to eat."

"You're welcome on both counts."This is the most civil and close we have been in weeks. An idea pops into my mind. "I thought since it is Saturday, that means it the weekend. Neither of us has to work on Monday and we have travelled to the other side of the country, I thought maybe we could extend this impromptu trip" I tighten my lips together when Ana stops eating. That the last thing she should do.

"Don't stop eating. As I was saying since we have travelled so far, why not go a little further. I never did get the opportunity to take you to New York." Yes, this would be a perfect way to continue and push our reconciliation. I could take her to show, a carriage ride through central park, visit some of the cities leeway spots such as the Scribner building... I want to take her to the most exclusive restaurants. Fatten her up a bit. It would also mean us alone, together, away from Seattle.

"I can't."

"You can't? I am afraid I would have to beg to differ. Anastasia, you came out here to Connecticut with me. We have shared this suite together and we have been more than amicable. We flew out here on a moment's notice so a couple more days won't hurt. Ros is looking after GEH and Kate is away with Elliot until Monday sometime..."

"Christian stop" It only occurs to me that Ana has been trying to interrupt me. I narrow my eyes. There is no way that I am willing to head back to Seattle and then return to face her rather successful attempts to avoid me. Not until she at least begins to realise that we are to be together. "I can't go to New York with you."

"Ana please..."

"You use those two words together far too much Christian" I breathe out far too loudly. Only you could make me say them less. "I can't go to new York until Monday. I am due to work that day."

Oh, this is news to me. Sawyer has given me detailed reports on Ana's movements but there has been nothing mentioned about her going back to work. Hang on does she mean she is going to work somewhere I do know about? Ana has told me that she is yet to open the manila envelope I gave her. If She had then, I know that she would want answers or maybe even get angry me... at least in the slightest.

"And where are you going back to work?"

"SIP. I decided yesterday evening. I emailed Roach and he replied before I went to bed. He said that I can restart immediately. I have accepted."

"Good. You are a gifted editor."

"Thank you but I didn't really have much of a choice." I cook my head to the side, enticing Ana to explain herself further. "I just thought it would be too uncomfortable for us both. You know, me working at a company that you are the owner. However the state of the economy means that I don't have much of a choice." for one of the few times, I am actually happy that the economy isn't going into recession.

"Either way, I am glad you are going back to SIP. We could go to New York and fly back tomorrow night. It would be a whirlwind trip but still. You could sleep on the flight back home even."

"I would like to go back to Seattle. I don't want to be tired when I go back to work. Not when I have been away so long." Ana demeanour tells me that she isn't going to budge on this. At least we have a long flight home.

"A rain check then. I have wanted to take you to New York for a while now."

"We will see."

"Ana, since you are going back to work on Monday then you need to open that envelope I gave you. It is important."

"Why?"

"You will see." Regardless of my prompting, I knew deep down Ana wouldn't open the envelope. I had no other choice. My actions had already been predetermined.

* * *

 **A/N No2: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Review if you wish**


	6. Thank Gosh!

**Thank Gosh!**

* * *

 **Ana's POV:**

I take a deep breath and summon up all the courage I can muster. Get it together Steele! Time to be a grown-up. I hold my head up but have to focus on each step as I enter the doors of SIP. It is my first day back at work after….. well everything!. It's like I have lived through a lifetime of emotion and drama these past few months. I feel like I am drowning as the feeling of worry escalates. I fear that everyone is going to be staring at me. No doubt my they would have all read the newspaper headlines. Claire, as usual, is sitting at the reception desk. We have always been on friendly terms, and while I want to maintain this relationship, I don't want to build on it right now. I offer her a warm smile and then point to my watch letting her know that I am running late. Maybe she won't realize that I am lying. My journey to my office is short, but I pretend to look busy, studying my phone so that I don't make eye contact with any of my coworkers. I can tell that they are staring at me when I walk past but trying not to hide their curious glances. I need to get past this uncomfortable period. It should only last a day, right? I hadn't seen any of them since I went on leave before I was supposed to marry the man they all know their boss. I wonder if they think that Christian is likely to sell the company now out of retribution.

"Ana, it's so good to see you," Hannah comments professionally though slightly overly excited. "I will get you a cup of tea." Before I can refuse she rushes off. Oh well, a cup of tea would be nice along with a big dose of privacy and silence to get me back into the swing of work. At least my office feels familiar and comfortable I commence going through my correspondence and my emails, as my assistant returns with my tea.

"Here's your tea. I will email your authors on your behalf and let them know that you are back. I know that they will be thrilled."

"Thank you... I would like to meet with them over the next few weeks. I want to make it clear to them that I am back on board after my extended absence and to see where they are at with their next books, sales, etc. Can you make those appointments for me? I am happy to start the meetings in the next couple of days."

"I will get on it right away. Is there anything else?"

"Not that I can think of, though I might need your help in a few hours to dig me out from all these papers and documents once I have finally gotten through them all." I signal to all the mail that has piled up. Hannah and I laugh lightly " Until then no. Thanks for the tea."

"Anytime. I will go and make these calls. And Ana. "I look up and quietly sigh. I was hoping that there wouldn't be any uncomfortable moments between Hannah and me. "...I am so glad you are back. Very thankful.." I breath out relieved.

"Thanks, it's good to be back."

"Can I say something else?" Hannah's voice is cautious and I prepare myself. Maybe she thinks that I am going to lose my job since I didn't marry the guy that own the company and therefore so will she.

"Of course," I comment though I wish she wouldn't. I don't want to be rude.

"Never, ever go away again. I mean it Ana. One more day working for John Buccaneer and I was either going to jump from the fourth floor or go back to living in my childhood bedroom in Iowa. Ana never leave again!"

I can't help but chuckle. John is SIPs chief accountant, and while he is proficient at his job, he has the social graces of an insect. "I will do my best!"

# # # #

The morning goes quickly and quietly allowing me to get through the majority of my correspondence. I check my phone before I head upstairs. Christian said he would email or call me in regards to the rehearsal dinner for Kate and Elliot. Strange that he hasn't. When Christian says he will do something, he usually does. I arrive at Roach's office and am redirected to the board room. He asked me earlier to meet with me. Not surprising considering the circumstances. I wonder how he will approach the topic of me being Christians ex.

I open the boardroom door and almost forget to breathe. There standing there with my boss is his boss. My once lover and fiancee, and now? Friend? Either way, he is the soon to be brother in law of my best friend, Christian Grey. Damn, he looks good. At least I look decent. My feet even forget that they are sore after being out of heels for so long.

"Ana, good, you are here. We can start." Roach announces apparently eager to speed up whatever this is. He points to a chair. I am sitting on the opposite side of Christian and Roach is at the head of the table. Strange I would have thought Christian would take that seat, but this would be by design. So much easier for him to read me like an open book.

Christian passes me the same manila folder. It's the same one that he gave me weeks ago. The one that I didn't open. I left it on my bedside table this morning. Without a doubt, it is the very same. The edge is a little worn and bent from where I have rubbed and played with it considering whether to open it or not.

"You will need to open the envelope." Christian declares. He rests back on the chair and waits. I don't move. Roach's assistant enters and places what I suspect is duplicate papers in front of him and Christian. They both open their files, though Christian doesn't even pay it much attention while Roach is examining it though he seems familiar with it.

"Open the envelope Anastasia." Christian requests again, though his voice is soft but ever so commanding.

I sigh and pull out the documents. There are over a dozen pieces of paper; however, the first page tells me the nature of the materials. I go numb, as I read page after page. The last page is already signed by Christian. I can't believe this... What? Fuck! Why on earth?

"Congratulation Ana. SIP is yours!" Roach declares.

I look up dumbfounded. I am vaguely aware of the conversation that then transpires between him and Christian. Roach mentions something about retiring when I take over, and something about a transition period for me. I think Christian states that he will be on hand to help.. at least I think that is what they say.

"Excuse me, Roach, would you give Christian and me a few minutes to discuss this. Alone." I request though I don't even look at him. Instead, Christian and I are glaring at each other. Both of us trying to determine what is going through our minds.

"I will be in my office." Roach walks out. I wait till I hear the door close before I speak.

"Why?" I ask quietly.

"Because this company is yours. At first, I purchased it to keep you safe, and then as a gift to you after we got married."

"We didn't get married," I state a little underrated

"I consider that a technicality. There is still time..." Open my mouth to reply but Christian recommences to talk. "Ana, it's only right that I hand over this company to you. I will provide you with all the assistance, access to personnel and training that you will need."

"While that is generous, I don't want this."

"You would be brilliant. I doubt that anyone else can pick a book like you. You would make this company profitable. I want you to run this SIP. You can run it independently or as a subsidiary of GEH. The choice is yours."

"I have only been working for five of months, and I have been on leave for practically three months weeks. I am no way ready to run a publishing company." I stress. I know that Christian was able to walk out of college and set up a billion dollar company, but that is him. Not me.

"You are right!" I raise my eyebrows. No argument or co-excision He agrees? "Maybe you are not ready at the moment to be a CEO right now but you will eventually. The paperwork isn't dated. When you are ready, then you can sign and fill in the date. Until then SIP can remain under the Grey Enterprise Umbrella with an interim CEO."

"That is very accommodating of you," I mutter surprised.

"I had a good teacher," Christian replies with a slight smile on his face, complimenting me.

"It may take me years to want or be able to run this company. If ever."

"I repeat... whenever you are ready, then the offer will be there. I mean it Ana. "

"Thank you."

"You're welcome Anastasia" Christian's eyes become soft. Oh, I have missed them. To be honest, I have missed everything about him.

"I shouldn't hold you up. You probably have a full schedule today, especially since you were absent from work on my account on Friday." I stand expecting Christian to do the same, but he doesn't.

"I caught up on the weekend. I can assure you that I am free until two o'clock." Christian remains seated.

"Okay but it's my first day back at work. I have a mountain of correspondence to get through and even more authors to contact. Manuscripts to familiarize myself with. I am going to be locked in my office all day and tomorrow."

"Understood. Then taking that into consideration, I will take you to lunch on Wednesday." Same old Christian. Domineering, and never playing fair.

"I can't."

"Ana, please not this again. I thought we started to make some headway in Connecticut."

"We did but... " I roll my eyes. I don't know what to say to him half the time. "Christian, it's not that. I already have plans." Christian cocks his head to the side, though also narrows his eyes. He thinks I am seeing another guy. "Grace. I am having lunch with Grace. She called me."

"Oh. You're having lunch with my mother?"

"Yes."

"Interesting."

# # # #

I have been nursing my gin and tonic for almost an hour, while I watch Kate, Elliott and some of our mutual friends on the dance floor. Regardless of the slowness of my drinking, I am still a light weight. I have had about five drinks tonight and am tipsy. I finally agreed to come out after Kate hounded me. I have avoided being the third wheel by using the events of my failed wedding, and then work. But after three months of having been back at SIP, I ran out of excuses, and I missed Kate. She moved in with Elliot a couple of weeks ago. I suspect that she would have done so sooner with it wasn't for me. I have stayed in the Pike Market apartment; however, I ought to move out or at least force Kate to accept rent.

Kate and Elliot are getting married in a few months. I am the maid of honor, while Christian is the best man and of course, this has required us to spend some time together. We have been amicable ever since the trip to Connecticut, and he continues to strive to fight for me. To Christian's credit, he is yet to mention his offer to gift SIP to me. He hasn't even crashed the occasional lunches that I have had with his mother even though I know he is aware each time I meet with her.

I smile as Kate walks towards me while Elliot walks off in the direction of the bathroom. "Hey, you going to come out and dance?" Kate questions. She is looking radiant, and I feel a twinge of jealousy while being happy for her at the same time.

"No. I am still a lousy dancer. In the interests of public safety, I will remain where I can do the least harm."

"You know you use to dance extremely well with..."

"Kavanagh, stop.!" I interrupt her. I can't believe that she was about to say that. Kate undeterred by abruptness or the annoyance in my voice continues to stare at me until she heads to the bar, ordering two more drinks.

"Have another drink with me!" Kate requests standing next to me again. I nod. Kate, never one to waste a moment, swallows the entire contents of her drink before mine even touches my lips.

"Ana I can't believe that I am going to say this, but it is for the greater good. Stop being so damn pig-headed and go back to the mogul."

I spit out my drink, having had the misfortune to been drinking at the time.

"What?"

I look at Kate, expecting her head will do a complete three hundred and sixty-degree rotation. When I returned from Connecticut, I sat her down. Having found peace, I was finally ready to tell Kate the entire truth, of course; with a couple of bottles of wine and the biggest tub of ice cream I could find. For the first time, Kate was speechless, though her emotions were apparent in her expression. I told her about how Christian wanted me as a submissive, then him wanting more, to Leila and the events in the apartment, Christian fears of me being hurt, the whole reason I choose not to go through with the wedding, the trip to Connecticut.. everything.

"I can't believe I am saying this either." Kate quickly orders another round drinks. Vodka shooters this time. "Drink." I comply, though it adds to the alcohol we have already consumed.

"Steele I am hoping that you are drunk enough now to accept the truth. You have moped around the apartment, and everywhere you have been since July, but even more so since you returned from Connecticut. You have admitted that you understand why Christian did what he did, even if you still don't like it. Which you shouldn't! But then you always end with how much you love and miss him. Elliot is even sick of Christian telling him how much he loves and misses you."

"Sometimes it is not enough..."

"You are not drunk enough. Where is Sawyer?... Oh, there he is. Hey, can you get another round of these shots."

Sawyer comes into close view and doesn't look too happy at Kate's request. "Sawyer, trust me. Getting another round will make yours and Taylor's life easier." Sawyer glances at me, and I nod. Kate doesn't say anything until he arrives with our drinks, but she doesn't look away.

"Drink again."

"Kate... this isn't going to change anything."

"Maybe, but I am doing this in hope that your stubbornness is put aside for at least a few hours. Ana, I … look I love you. You are my sister in every sense. Hell, I even love you more than my brother. I think you should be with Christian. You glow when you talk about him, it's in your eyes, even when you are mad at him, Though if you can't; if you truly believe that you can never get back to where you are, then you need to let Christian go completely. Find someone else, and then let him move on. Maybe Christian will find someone else.. eventually."

"Ready to go back on the dance floor baby?" All my attention was focused on Kate words that I didn't see Elliott come back from the bathroom.

"Sure!" Kate responds kissing him. They are the king and queen of public displays of affection. "Are you sure you won't join us on the dance floor?"

"No thank you. I think that is taking the third wheel way too far. In fact, I am going to ask Sawyer to take me home."

"You can go back to our place if you want." Kate offers.

"No. Thank you, but no. Though how about I come over during the week? I can cook you both dinner and make sure everything in the kitchen still works," I joke. Neither of them can cook although like Christian seems to have every appliance created by man.

"Oh yes, please! Thank you. Please. How about you come over Monday evening, then Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and then also this weekend to cook?"

"Sorry, Kate, I love you baby, but you can't cook to save your life." Elliott's comment gains him an elbowing from Kate. I laugh at them both and kiss them goodbye.

"Thank you, Sawyer, for driving me. I didn't fancy catching a cab."

"It is my job, but you're welcome Miss S... sorry Ana." I smile briefly but look out the window. When I become bored watching the city lights. I pull out my cell phone, and before I know it, I have Christian's number on the display. I stare at it. I don't know for how long, but we arrive back at the Pike Market apartment before I look at anything else.

"Ana, we are here."

"Oh.. yes.. of course." I get out of the car, start walking up to the stairs and fish my key out of my bag. However, something compels me to turn back to the car.

# # # #

 **Christian's POV:**

My body forces my eyes to open, and I am surprised by what I see. For months, sleep has been rare, and I have woken up in darkness. My mind, my conscience and my heart never allowing me the respite to allow me to sleep longer than a few hours at a time. However, today is different. I look up at my ceiling. My room is flooded with light. Did I sleep all night? I don't ponder this thought too long when I feel the duvet move. I look to my side and blink. At first, I don't believe what I am seeing. Ana? My Ana? I stretch my arm out and touch her softly, to make sure I am not hallucinating. If I am dreaming, then I pray I never wake up.

It's her. Ana is here. She is here. I can't explain why nor do I know when she got here, but that is secondary. Right now Ana.. my Ana is here. I shuffle closer to her. I don't dare pull Ana close to me for fear of waking her. I lie next to her and watch her sleep. An hour passes. It's been one of the happiest of my life. I raise my head and kissed Ana's forehead; I don't want to wake her, but I couldn't stop myself. I had to touch her again.

"Hi," Ana utters softly waking up.

"Hi." I am suddenly aware that a broad smile has cemented itself on my face. "I was so scared that you were a dream or a hallucination."

"I should have called you, but it was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Sawyer contacted Taylor for me and let me in. Don't be mad at them for not telling you I was coming over." Mad at Sawyer and Taylor for helping Ana into my penthouse and my bed? Fuck no! I am going to give them a big fat bonus! "When I arrived, it was late, and you were asleep. I borrowed one of your shirts and slipped into your bed."

I watch Ana carefully as I move closer to her and wrap my arms around her holding her close. When she doesn't flinch nor asks me to stop, I kiss her lips. They feel as beautiful as always. I grab her hand and place it my chest. An area that I haven't let anyone touch since the day, I should have married Ana.

"You are here!"

"Yes. Can you thank you soon to be sister in law for that." Kate? "I will tell you about it later." I desperately want to know what Kate did and for how long Ana is here for, but I want just to enjoy having her here first.

"I will be sure to thank her." Fuck, I don't know how I could thank someone enough. I know I will pay for their honeymoon... Elliot hasn't made any plans yet. Maybe send them to Bora Bora or something along those lines.

"I'm so tired. I haven't slept well or much in so long."

"Me either. Sleep sweet Ana." I pull her close to me. Ana is already half asleep when she rubs my chest. Sleep finds her quickly. Faster than ever before. Fuck she mustn't have been sleeping lately. I watch her until I can't help but sleep also.

# # # #

"What time is it?" Ana mumbles softly. I find myself becoming lost in her perfect blue eyes as she opens them. Finally awake.

"It's almost midday."

"That late? I must have been more tired than I thought." Ana looks shocked at first but then just smiles slightly. I nod. I smile, overjoyed that she has slept so late. She looks well rested. Even I feel well rested.

"I woke up a couple of hours ago and couldn't bring myself to wake you up." Ana regards me cautiously. She raises her hand and runs her fingers over my cheek.

"Christian your eyes are red. Have you been crying?" I avoid looking into Ana's eyes, but I know that I can't deny the truth.

"When I woke up an hour ago and saw you were still in bed with me, I knew that it wasn't a dream. I was so scared that you would be gone. It was the first time since the day we were supposed to get married that my heart didn't feel dark or hollow. It hurt. I hadn't felt so happy, safe, forgiven and loved since the last night I spent with you.. two days before we were to be married."

"See I told you, you had a heart."

"Only because you put it there. Ana, it only beats when you are with me."

"Sounds dangerous." Instinctively I grab Ana's hand as she commences to get up. I haven't been in a bed with her for so long that I don't want this time to end. "Christian, I need to get up."

"I don't want you to. I want to keep you in my bed... our bed. It is Saturday. Neither of us needs to be at work." I point out, believing to have won't his argument. I manage to get on her back, holding her down. I want to kiss her, feel her.. have her, although I don't know if she would be ready. I don't want to push my luck.

"Except I need to go to the bathroom," Ana giggles. It's like a gift.

"A full bladder will make your orgasm even more intense," I advise salaciously.

"I will keep that in mind, but I have to go.. Now. Rather urgently too. I had a little too much to drink last night." Begrudgingly I let Ana get up. My blue shirt has never looked so good. I think I will invest in some shorter shirts. This way when Ana borrows them, I can get a view of her delectable ass.

"Should I make us some breakfast or lunch considering the time?" Ana asks coming out of the bathroom. I want to eat though I want to throw myself at her. My mind in full of ideas.

"Ana, we need to talk. I need to know what is happening." I wave my hands. If this is some cruel joke, some tease then I think I would shrivel up and die.

"Oh yeah. I did say that I would explain my sudden appearance. Well fifty, in a nutshell, I drank a bit and then my best friend and your soon to be sister in law, basically told me to get my head into gear. To either move on properly, or to do what I wanted to do. To finally act on the fact that I still love you, and you are the only one for me. I took the latter of Kate's advice." I never thought that I would be so thankful for Katherine intrusive nature. For the rest of my life, I will be eternally grateful. Not only will I pay for their honeymoon but I intend to ensure they are upgraded, wined, dined and everything. Hell, I think I will even gift my share of Elliott's company to him. This will increase Elliott's income, and help to secure them financially. They can even have a child as soon as they wish. I know that will make them both rather happy. It's the fairest thing I can do.

"Thank gosh for Katherine Kavanagh."

"Those are words that I never expected to hear from you."

"And words I may be saying for the rest of my life."

"So now that I am here. What should we do today?" I smile wickedly.

"Two things come to mind. We can either get up and have breakfast, or we can delay eating and see where we go in bed" I swallow praying hard that I am not pressing my luck. But I have given Ana an out should she not feel ready to be intimate. Having her eat as soon as possible is also one of my top priorities. She has lost weight.

"And for the second time in less than twelve hours I take the latter."

"As you wish." I tug at the hem of the shirt Ana is wearing and pull it off her. I do like my clothes on Ana put I much prefer to take them off.

* * *

 **Author's Note: I hope you all enjoyed and happy that you got a HEA. This ends the story and my career as a FF writer. I may still do one shots, but not a story again like the other saga's I have written. Thank you for following me you all. I appreciate it. I have spent years writing and whilst I have loved it, all those hours need to be spent on me now. I day I might write another long story but not right now…**

 **Thank you. And of course…. Review if you wish.**

 **Also many thanks to MrsCTGrey who beta'ed this story! THANKYOU  
**


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